So, I am sorry that I have not posted in while, my new (old) job is taking a lot out of me. Now, about my title, this is the long and short of it, I need to get laid. There, I said it! The need announced itself to me at work when I started looking at my colleague in a funky manner. This dude is just your average Joe, nothing particularly sexy about him but such is my need. It has been a long time, longer than I want to admit, lol. I always imagine that I will find someone attractive and just hop into bed but as much as I want that to be the case, it is just not me. I have found myself in situations where I can do a whole lot sans getting naked with someone I have no emotional connection with. By this I do not mean I have to be in love, no. I just have to know more than the person's name, that's all.
De-laid!
So, I am sorry that I have not posted in while, my new (old) job is taking a lot out of me. Now, about my title, this is the long and short of it, I need to get laid. There, I said it! The need announced itself to me at work when I started looking at my colleague in a funky manner. This dude is just your average Joe, nothing particularly sexy about him but such is my need. It has been a long time, longer than I want to admit, lol. I always imagine that I will find someone attractive and just hop into bed but as much as I want that to be the case, it is just not me. I have found myself in situations where I can do a whole lot sans getting naked with someone I have no emotional connection with. By this I do not mean I have to be in love, no. I just have to know more than the person's name, that's all.
New city and a little something
I am a happy bunny! It's weird but I have not felt this way in while. Yours truly spent a part of last week in Birmingham on business (lol, I feel rather cheeky saying that but it is true) I was in a lovely hotel in the city centre, and it got me thinking, here I am in this room, this double bed going to waste, no action. No 6'3' Adonis to make it beautiful for me. I have to do more of that this coming week, I will be working in Birmingham from Monday through Friday, it's nice to get outta London, I love the city but new things can be inspiring. I wrote this little piece some time ago and I am feeling rather generous right now, so I'll share.
The truth from ?
The lies come
Frequently and seldom leave
I am not one of many,
Not even one a few
No clues
Or a seven page manual
On how to - deconstruct me
But you,
So keen to test the waters
Glass in hand
Ready to drink at the confluence of my
Blood sweat and tears.
Come again.
Marriage and me?
So, enough about that. My cousin's wedding got me thinking about what marriage means and if I see myself in such an institution. I have never been able to picture myself in that space, being married with 2.4 children. The idea appeals to me though, I want to make my mother (especially) happy and I know she dreams of a life for us that she was not able to live. But, am I willing to commit to something so life altering because I want her to be proud? I am not so sure now. I want to be happy, I want to travel, without being encumbered by family ties and societal expectations. If the right guy comes along and I fall madly in love with him, and I find myself in that space,then I will do it. I just know that being married is not on the list of things to tick off before I turn thirty. As a Nigerian female, I know what the expectations are and I do wonder sometimes if I will be brave enough to do what suits me. I am pretty convinced (I did a lot soul searching on this) that a marriage is supposed to be about the two people in it, if one goes into it tryna make other people happy, the whole thing is already doomed.
I have to be at work rather early tomorrow, there are tons of contracts I have to read, (this is what I do for a living, in a nutshell. Of course they make it sound fancy but hey).
I am currently listening to 'The Joshua Tree' by U2
It's been a while.
I am happy that my blogging muse chose tonight to pay me a visit, I missed the whole it. Right now, I am listening 'Choklate' by Choklate.
Independence day...
It has been a while, I am sorry. I had to post today, I am many things but chief amongst those is a Nigerian. I am proud of that fact, I love the country, the people, its sights and sounds. I wish you all a happy independence day. We are not perfect, we have a long way to go but we'd get much faster if we all do our bit.
This short.
This is a just a quick post, I came across this short the other day, it's called 'Place des Fetes' and it left me breathless for many reasons, chief among them being Aissa Maiga. If you have time, watch it and tell me what you think. It's about five minutes or so. I think I am turning into some sorta Francophile, hmmn.
My Island tongue.
Les portes du souvenir
I know you all know about my fascination with Koko Mansion, I watched it incessantly for three week, the chick I wanted to win, Shona, did not win. I was disappointed but the show got me through the boredom that threatened to swallow me whole. I mentioned KM because I am amazed at how conservative Nigeria still is. It is a thing of permanent frustration to me that a lot of Naija people, mine included, do not seem to understand that humans do not roll off an assembly line with the same thoughts, desires, likes and dislikes. I think I liked Shona because she struck me as defiant, her dread locks, her tom boyishness, I found it all endearing (*) but it also made me sad, I knew she could never win such a show. The (seemingly) docile woman is still held up as ideal for all Nigerians to aspire to, ah!
I am still evolving as a thinking and feeling being and one of the greatest joys of my life is being exposed to different people from all over the world, I was a child when it occurred to me that I hated sweet things, I mentioned it to someone and they thought I was abnormal. My mouth has propelled me into a lot of sticky situations, I cannot tell you how many frog jumps and 'close your eyes and raise your hands' hours I had to endure because of my big mouth.. As if the big mouth was not enough, I was afflicted with some sorta blind courage....
When I was eight, I was accused of being a witch, it was a funny experience for me because I orchestrated the whole thing. I was in boarding school, we had Saturday service and the youth group leader advised us that anyone who had dreams about meat, raw or cooked, should step forward. Now, I must confess I had no such dreams but I am that cat, so I stepped forward, just me! Imagine, the entire YG were wimps, anyway, she took me to me to the head mistress, I cannot remembered exactly what was discussed but I was informed that I, the star pupil in bible study, was a witch, I wanted to laugh, instead I cried and walked of to my room. I had this affliction as a child to speak when I knew it would have been better to be quiet, anyways, as a result of all this rubbish, I was given a letter asking me to not come back to school. My uncle came, threatened to sue the school and the matter was dropped. I finished school a year later and I do not recall anyone else being accused of being a witch. Maybe I did something good, I do not know, it could have been terrible for me, but I had that foolish courage as a child...
I do not know what opened these doors of memory but it was one of the most poignant events of a rather eventful girlhood and I am thankful I do still remember.
Right now, I am enjoying the beautiful sounds of Les Nubians, their first album, Princesses Nubiennes, would be one of my five dessert island discs. This video is of my favourite song on the album.
....Be mused.
When pigs flu.
I got this bloody swine flu thing, I have been confined to my private quarters at home, the family is running from me. I am rather amused by the whole thing. See, I never panic when I get any sort of ailment, I do not visit the GP, I would usually wait for the whole things to blow over.
6'3 and randoms.
Guiness
©
Ruby slept not.
My birthday today.... the VII(th)
L.
Gulliver - via the red dot (audio post)
It's been a while, the keys on laptop are playing up. So, I decided to make an audio thing. I have missed you all....
I am listening to 'Vanilla Latte' by Katie Reider, it's really good, so check it out.
P.s. this was made before the final and you all know what happened there, I am not upset though, the best team won.
Be good,
L.
Gulliver - via the red dot from 'Fro-VII on Vimeo.
Origami days,
Life is great now, the job is cool, I did not know that I had so much patience. I am currently nursing a crush that I know will go nowhere, dude is one of those brothers who only seem to like Caucasian women, so what's a sister to do? I cannot stop my heart from beating triple time when he moves and I can see the clear definition of muscles in his back, lol. I am gonna work on him, at least I'll try. I am not one for nursing silly crushes but there is something very interesting about him.
One of the kids made an origami rose today, it made me so happy, it said 'to Ms, thanks for helping me' (I will put up a picture later) these are the tangential things that make my days worthwhile.
I am in the middle of concluding my trilogy, so I'll post it up at some point this week. I cannot believe how much I missed the blogosphere, I do hope you guys are all good.
I am currently listening to 'Connected' by Foreign Exchange, they are great, there's a second album but the first is much better.
Stay blessed all.
L.
Where charity begins....
I got a new job now, it is working with a charity for women, something I have always wanted to do. I have met some women and girls, in just a week, that have made me smile and made me thank God that I have my family and friends. I realise now that the career that I thought I was gonna have was just about me being safe, about doing what I supposed to do.
So, I am through with 'Compliance', I enjoyed it, I have a keen interest in the law and it's application but I am more interested in making a difference.
One of the girls asked me on Thursday, 'Miss, do you think you are happy?' I did not answer her, I just smiled, I am hoping the answer will be yes soon.
That's enough of this introspection, I am currently listening to 'Closer' by Kings of Leon, you should all check them out, they are pretty good.
L.
8 and things.
So, I was tagged to do this 8 things meme by BSNC and Vic. No better time than now, so here it goes;
8 Things I look forward to
1. Starting my new job
2. Going to Valencia
3. My sister's 21st
4. Inglorious Basterds
5. Reading Toni Morrison's 'A Mercy'
6. Listening to Maxwell's new joint
7. Manchester United v. Arsenal
8. Falling in mad lust, again
8 Things I did yesterday.
1. Watched Man Utd v. Arsenal
2. Spent some time with my mother
3. Worked on my script
4. Read mad news on the 'net
6. Cooked with R23
7. Did some homework with little Brother
8. Hand washed some shirts
8 Things I wish to do.
1. Direct a Nollywood film
2. Open a shelter for women and girls in Lagos
3. Live in a beach house in Lagos
4. Doing Jury duty
5. Sleep with someone who can draw me outta my inhibitions
6. Own a Jean-Michel Basquiat painting
7. Get a star filled in my tatt
8. Go to Bahia and Havana
8 Shows I watch
1. The Wire
2. Damages
3. Mad Men
4. Big Love
5. Meet the Faith
6. Newsnight
7. ER
8. The Game
Right now, I am listening to Anthony Hamilton's latest, it is fire! I am down with this voice exchange thing, so let's get it on and popping.
Audio post, L-VII and R23.
Honesty meme, L's version.
I was tagged to do this 'Honesty' thing by Phoneparazzi I have been putting it off but I am rather bored. So, here it goes;
1. I gave up smoking in January, it was starting to get silly.
2. When I was seven, I stole something and I was proud of it. It was hair grease, my aunty had it, my cousins and I asked her to borrow it and she claimed she did not have any. We waited for her to go out, I took it out of her wardrobe and we sold it to the Fulani lady who did hair on my street. She could not ask us for it, we knew this. I got five Nairas for my efforts and I was happy.
3. I do not know how to ride a bike. It was a Sunday, Iya Sheni's Pepper stall was in the way, I tried to swerve and I ended up in the gutter, drenched and embarrassed, the boys fell about laughing, I stayed in the bath for hours and I swore off bikes.
4. I had a gay uncle, he was very effete. I did not know until I was about six that he was not like other men, he cooked with the women, went to the market and was always in the kitchen. I over heard my Alhaja and the other heads of the family telling him he either had to get married or forget he had family. I remember feeling sad for him, he left for a about six months and some other equally feminine men came to look for him, they never got far, they got shouted at by my aunts who called them all kinds of unseemly names. Still, I did not know what 'gay' meant until I moved to England aged 11, my uncle died two years ago aged 50. He had one son and the family threw a huge party for him, I remember watching the video and wondering if they were celebrating his life or the fact that he was now gone. My father said to me once, 'you know your Uncle Wahab was gay' and I ignored him.
5. I am avid reader, my room is like a mini library. I was taught to read by my youngest aunt, she was only eight years older me, so I thought she was the coolest thing ever. She used to make me read Mills & Boon books to her, I am still tryna decide if this was a good thing or not. I'd be like Aunty, what does 'hot member' mean and she'd say, 'gbenu s'oun (shut up) and finish reading' and I'd do just that.
6. I bought my first pair of Louboutins a month ago, I keep the shoe box near my bed. They remain unworn, no occasion has warranted the honour.
7. I had my first crush on a boy called 'Bassey' I thought he was the most beautiful boy ever. He had gray eyes that were always teary, he spoke to me once even though we lived on the same street.
8. I hate shopping for clothes, I like to have what I want in my mind and then walk into Topshop or H&M or Portobello and pick it up, of course it never works out like that. I get dragged around by my sister, who is a proper fashion head, and used as a mannequin . I love to shop for gadgets though, I spend an obscene amount of money on my tech things, it's a huge passion of mine.
9. I remained a virgin until twenty one. I thought I would wait until I fell in love and then I met Joel at uni, I was not in love with him but he was the only boy I have ever met who could turn me on with a touch. We had sex during 'Swordfish' we were the only ones in the theatre and he smelt so good, it was messy and a lot of fun,lol.
10. Yay, the final one. I walked in on my boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend (does that make sense?) naked once, we were all staying in the same house and I walked in without knocking, I expected no one to be in. I looked at her, she looked at me and I knew, I coulda had her if I wanted to, I had known it before then but that moment confirmed it. I apologised and walked out.
*This is an extra one, - I really like watching women dance, I don't mean all winding and grinding, just cool rhythmic body movements, there is nothing more sensual.
Okay, that is it. I have honoured the tag and I tag;
*CultureCynic.
*Lowlah.
*Nice Anon.
Fuzzy transmitions.
I am just bored, I just had an argument with my phone buddy, distance is a bitch, so, here I am with a jam free doughnut and a cup of cafe con leche. My phone sounds fine to me, he claimed I had fuzzy transmition, I know he is reading this so, J, I don't believe you (you need more people). I am going going to listen to Mariah Carey feat. Dru Hill - 'Beautiful Ones'. Oh, here's something to do....
*Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
*They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers.
*You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
* Dont google your answers.
*Make it as interesting and fun as you can.
1. What is your name: L-VII
2. A four Letter Word: Lure
3. A boy's Name: Leandro
4. A girl's Name: Lolade
5. An occupation: Lumberjack
6. A color: Lavender
7. Something you'll wear: Lacy things
9. A food: Lasagna
10. Something found in the bathroom: Loofah
11. A place: Lima
12. A reason for being late: London Underground
13. Something you'd shout: Let's do it again
14. A movie title: Living in bondage
15. Something you drink: Lemon juice
16. A musical group: Little Brother
17. An animal: Lion
18. A street name: London
19. A type of car: Lexus
20. The title of a song: Lady Suite
It's now 01:46am, I am still bored, gonna watch this mind numbing Tyler Perry movie.
P.s. I tag anyone who is having a moment like this to do the above list.
L.
The sequel.
The sequel.
She called me, three times after that night, each time my head hurt and my fingers stilled. I did not dare answer. I was back here now, where I belonged.
We had not talked about it, but I caught him looking at me on numerous occasion, concern etched on his face. I could not bring myself to tell him, how do I explain that I had become a hybrid, neither here nor there? I came home last night to find him laying on the dark wooden floor, records in hand, he had Teddy Pendergrass' 'Love TKO' playing, nothing out of the ordinary about that. He looked up at me, a knowing smile on face, 'I was just you, know going through these, are you okay?' that was his new thing, asking me if I am 'okay' since that night, I had become something fragile, he spoke softly, walked lightly, yet I am the guilty one. His demeanour made me uneasy, he was ever the attentive fiancée, holding open doors, pulling out chairs, I managed for days, then weeks to stop thinking about that night, my moment of madness, and slowly, he too relaxed.
Friday night, freshly bathed, he was sitting at the end, he looked at me, desire swimming in his eyes, I smiled and made my way to my side of the bed, snugly tucked in, I prayed for sleep and hoped he'd do the same. I felt his calloused hand on my back, he moved closer, 'I miss you, I miss us' I sighed. He moved much closer, his hands came around my waist, 'Remi, what's wrong' he did not wait for my answer, I pushed back into him, he was already hard and I made up my mind to exorcise the ghost of that night, right then. I brought his hand my chest, 'touch me' he grew bolder, his breathing heavier, his mouth on my ear and the pleasure became so familiar, why had I stopped this, stopped him? I found his roaming hands, pushed him on his back and straddled him, my night shirt went over my head and I brought his hands to my breasts as our eyes bore into each other, his hand moved across my breasts, down to my navel and I stopped him, he sighed in frustration but I was determined to control this.
'Do you want me?' I do not know where I got the courage from, he squeezed my butt as a way of saying yes, his penis oozed precum and I knew he was as excited as I had ever seen him, I grabbed him, and tugged lightly, his breathing hitched, I touched the precum and brought it to my lips, his eyes grew, I knew what he was thinking, I had never done anything like this before.
I surprised myself with the boldness with which I brought him, rock hard into my mouth, 'oh God, Remi' I was strangely delighted, I was out of my comfort zone and I felt liberated, his hand at the back of my head, holding me in place, I had no idea how much he enjoyed this, I did not want to bring him to a climax yet, I eased him slowly out of my mouth and he pulled me up, his eyes held mine again, I knew there was so much he wanted to ask but his arousal rendered him incapable of thought, I straddled him again, this time I rocked myself on his abs, I wanted him to feel just how wet I was, he attempted to hold me in place but I caught his wrist in a loose grip, my need to be in control was overwhelming but I knew he was enjoying it, if only for tonight.
I grabbed him, I felt him tremble, I had him on the precipice and it drove me wild to see him, on his back, his face contorted in pleasure, I guided him inside me, took a minute to get used to the feeling and then I began to move slowly, my hands on his chest, my feet under his thighs, he moaned softly, 'oh God' I watched him, beads of swear running on his face, He grabbed my wrist, pulled me down and then rolled us over, he was now on top of me, his face, a cross between raw pleasure and anger, he started a slow deliberate kinda stroking, his mouth on mine, my hands around his head, he picked up the pace and I realised quickly how much I had missed this, my legs were far apart, slightly off the bed, toes curled.... we came together, he let out a guttural groan as my fingers dug into his shoulders.
Still breathing heavily, I attempted to hug him, he pushed me back, 'what' I asked, he laid there, lightly coated in sweat, breathing rythmlessly, he turned to me slowly, 'tell me who else has touched you' I looked at him, unsurprised by his question and unable to muster the strength to offer a denial, my eyes fell. I felt him get up, his penis still partially erect, he grabbed a pillow and walked out of our room, naked.
Being unfaithful.
Being unfaithful.
'Tell me to stop, tell me' she whispered into my ear, I wanted to oblige but I could not, I needed this more than I cared to admit and she knew.
Her mouth teased me, she nibbled lightly on my bottom lip and I felt my resolve crumble. How could I be doing this, with her! Her mouth moved to my throat and at that moment, no excuse I could think of would do, this is something else I wanted. Hands, soft and insistent coaxed me out of my cocoon, she turned me over and stretched over me, her breasts on my back, her hands in mine, 'I have wanted you for so long' she said the words so softly I was not sure she said them at all.
I accepted my fate, I was a prisoner to my passions, she let go of my fingers and I braced myself for what was to come. Her mouth, so sweet, wet kisses on my back, soft moans filled the air, I do not know if they came from me or her, she pushed her leg in between mine, 'tell me to stop now' I ignored the request as I turned myself around, she now hovered over me, hooded eyes looking at me with intensity, I reached for her. I needed her mouth on my mine again, needed to know I did not imagine the pleasure that she could bring, she kissed me, little kisses she knew drove me mad, her hand teased my breasts, she had me as taut as a bow, her mouth, I had never known pleasure like this, I had encountered it in other forms but not like this, my nipples painfully erect, she kissed me again and I wrapped my legs around her.
Wanting to be completely at one with this sweetness, her fingers made the painfully slow journey down, stopping to caress my hips, 'please' the word fell from me but I was desperate for her touch, I needed her to do something to douse the flames she ignited, she stopped to look at me, my eyes barely open, then she found me, thoroughly soaked for her, she played with my sowllen clit and I thought I would die. She took her hand way and I cried out at the loss, 'shhh' and she began another kind of descent, I knew this, her mouth has promised what she would do, I found it so hard to breathe, afraid I would die from this
She stopped at my knees, looked up at me as parted my thighs, she smiled but I could not, I anticipated, that mouth, again, kissing her way up slowly, until, she parted me and I opened my legs wider, her tongue probing, her mouth kissing, I thought I would explode, her mouth found my clitoris, I grabbed her hair, my back arched as I thrust into her, she wanted to take her time, she brought me to the edge only to pull back, 'how do I explain this, where do I start?', those words crossed my mind as her fingers entered me, two, then three. She thrust into me slowly at first, then she increased her pace, I knew, like she did, I was close, her mouth enveloped my clit, she flicked her tongue over it and I shuddered as the spasms washed over me, my hands buried in hair.
She kept her mouth on me until my limbs went limp, shallow breaths pouring from me. My eyes still closed, she kissed me and I could taste myself on her, I could not move, my heart rate slowed to a pace I could bear. I looked at her, afraid to break the spell, 'what will you tell him' she asks, 'I don't know' I did not feel like myself, I felt exposed, parts that were dormant now hummed with pleasure newly discovered. I willed myself off her bed, she rolled onto her side to watch me dress, her head resting in her hand, 'don't feel too bad, I wanted it too' I let out a short burst of laughter, 'believe me, that is not the problem. it is what to do now I have had this, I am not a cheat, I do not do it, and now, I am covered in you, us' her eyes clouded over as I spoke, I ignored the look and went about searching for my left shoe. I said my 'goodbye' barely able to look at her.
I wanted the rest of the day to decide what to say, I roamed the city streets, looking at women, wondering if the attraction was about her or much more...... I felt nothing for all these women, their face, bodies, did not stir anything within. She has answered one question I did not know I had but she left me with so many more. I eventually made my way home and he was there, where I knew he'd be. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for causing him to worry, but he stood up pulled me to him, he sighed in relief. I hugged him back, desperately needing to chase the guilt away.
Random 10s x2
1. I really like blueberry muffins, cut into four, as a broke student, I ate this, only, for days on end.
2. I love being kissed by someone who know how ( I am a great kisser, yes I was told and I believe it...lol, the best kiss I have had so far was from....)
3. Shoes are a nascent passion of mine but as they say, pepper no rest and papa no be senator, so the passion remains theoretical.
4. I love languages, the different lilts, tones. My favourite language, (after my own) is Spanish.
5. I love books, my room is a mini library.
6. I watch foreign films without reading the subtitles first, then I watch again and I read them.
7. I am a sucker for dimples, I prefer one to two.
8. I love wearing matching underwear (as a matter of fact, I try to match always)
9. I have a young crush on a blogger.
10. I enjoy men who possess easy masculinity, not overt, just a quiet manliness, it is, after jazz, an aphrodisiac.
Things I do not.
1. I do not like sweet things, as a child, I would swap my sweets for ákárá or any other savouries.
2. I hate people who think because I am smart, I must be sexually repressed, the two things are in no way related.
3. I hate it when people say what exactly what they think, as it comes to them. Only children should speak their mind with little thought or concern for people's feelings. I appreciate honesty, Lord knows I make it my business to be honest when asked but people confuse being tactless (at best, and being damn cruel at worst) with being 'upfront'.
4. I hate plaintain, shock horror, this caused many hungry afternoons. I do not only hate plaintain, I hate anything it touches, my mother insisted on putting the fried plaintain on my rice, so, everything became inedible to me.
5. I hate cheats. Any kinda cheating but especially in a relationship, do you ever watch a film where X is with Y but really wants to be with Z? And X proceeds to cheat with Z and breaks Y's heart and the audience is supposed to be happy because X and Z got together and found love? Well not me! I always feel bad for the person whose heart got broken. Anyways, Hollywood sucks.
6. I have an immense dislike for organised religion, I belive in God but religion irks me.
7. I hate being tongue kissed, makes me want to throw up, I really believe a kiss does not have to involve sticking a whole tongue into someone's mouth(the tongue can be used for a myriad of things, just not in my mouth)
8. I really hate that Nollywood script writers write dialogue that require several trips to the bloody dictionary. I challenge anyone to find a Nollywood film in which the word 'insinuate(ing)' is not used.
9. I am not happy that my voice is about one octave deeper than it ought to be. I have made my sisters suffer hours trying to assure me that I sound essentially feminine, I am still not sure I believe them.
10. I hate that so many Nigerians are conservative about so many things, especially where women are concerned!
Lol, it's sunday night and I am bored.....
Mo' betta blues.
L.
When was the last time...........
I asked someone that question today and he looked at me like I had just sprouted a second head. 'When was the last time you wrote or received a letter?', he paused and said 'd'you know I cannot actually remember'. While on the train, I started thinking about how we don't write anymore. I had a pen pal once, I remember how I'd check the post every friday, barely able to contain my excitement because I knew a letter would be coming for me! So I was inspired to write this poem real quick, here it goes;
I want you to write to me,
Paper, pen or pencil
No eraser
Write me
Crossed out intentions
Rewritten to hide the fact you care more than you should
‘I was thinking, no wondering, maybe we could......’..
Tell me mundane things about your day, how your boss hates you
All 6’4 inches
Ask me how or if I think of you
‘I don’t normally do this, I mean this is not my thing'
I’ll secretly cherish how much your hand gives away’
My urban Casanova
'I really wanted to make you do that thing again
Your head thrown back, my toes curled because
I know i did it.'
On these pages, you’ll hold my hand
All caution thrown to the wind
You’ll disregard stares and engage in P.D.A
Bahia does seem too far in between these lines
Here you’ll wander outside margin with little thought
No secret between us, you, me and this sheet of A4
Do write me,
Dare me to tell you how I really feel
Remind me how much I say to you
When I think you are too distracted
To remember
‘My feet might be drained but my head always
Retains enough blood’
Tell me you’re not sure about so much
But you’re willing to go with my flow
‘if that is what you want a day at a time
Is fine I suppose.
It's been a while and I am rather rusty but hey, my muse has not deserted, I am grateful for that.
I love Her (my tattoo)
My grandmother was the first person I saw with tattoos, she had eight to be exact. I was fascinated by the marks on her right forearm. Two scorpions, a bird, her name and some other drawings. As a child, I often asked her about the markings and she'd say 'igba sisi mi ni mo ya won' (I got them as a young woman) but that answer was never satisfactory. I moved to England and I forgot about Alhaja's tattoos until I turned 19. I got the urge to get my own tattoo and I thought of her. I know now there was some defiance behind her tattoos, my father told me so. When she was getting ready to marry my grandfather, he objected to her tattoos and she was given the option to either get the offending marks drawn over (my grandfather, a devout Muslim, did not like images of animals drawn on what he perceived to be a holy temple) or forget getting married. My Alhaja chose the latter and according to my father, she told Alhaji that the markings were there when they met and he liked her, so, they'll stay. They parted ways, he went off to fight the Germans in Algeria as part of Her Majesty's army and my grandmother married another man.
They met up again in 1949, my grandmother was about board a bus at Adeniji Adele when they walked into each other. My father told me my grandfather knew she was already married then, he told her then that he'd seen so much death and destruction that he was no longer sure about God. He asked her about her tattoos, she told him she still had them. He told her he saw scorpions in the desert and he thought they were signs from her, offering him protection.
My Alhaja left her first husband at the age of 22, he had become a serial womaniser, who left home for weeks on end. They got married, Grandma and Pa, a month later, Alhaja wore a western style wedding dress that showed off her tatoos.
In the tattoo shop, I thought of getting a scorpion and I decided against it, I chose to dedicate my new tatoo to my Alhaja and all the women who raised me. So here..... (it says 'but for the love of sistahs)
T'okunbo
I am still crunched, my project has been pushed back, I am less than happy about. I am seriously thinking about moving back home though, my plans for the year are rather skewed right now, I dunno. Home in this instance will be Lagos, where I was born. I have been in the UK for most of my life but the need to go 'home' never subsides. I am not one of those folks who emigrate and become so completely assimilated that 'home' hardly crossed their mind.
After my trip to Lagos two years ago, I realised just how vibrant Lagos is, I think it definitely has a spot for a girl like me, the only disturbing thing is how much I was reminded that 'you know you're a girl' it got a extremely annoying after a while. I will be the first to admit that I like a little drink and when that happens, I smoke. It's just something I started while I was living on campus. I a am social drinker and smoker, no big deal. Now, the former did not attract much attention, it was the latter. People thought it was okay, to tell me, a grown woman, that 'you know it's not good for a woman to smoke' to make it worse, dude who first said that to me was smoking! I told him where to stick it. One thing I try to do in life is to reserve judgement until I need to make it, it's annoying that people would reach a conclusion about me because I smoke and drink socially. That really bothered me to be honest and I was hanging out with a rather high brow crowd, I was under the foolish impression that they would perhaps be more accommodating . Anyway, the third time I heard it, I ignored it. (I must add that I did not dare drink, let alone smoke while I was in Eko, I did not want to send my grandmother to an early grave).
Oh, something else I realise is that a foreign accent gets you very far! My cousins, who all sound like 'butter kids' used me to get things, I swear I felt so damned awkward. The first time they did it, we went to Nando's I think and the service was not all that, my cousins were there arguing with the service people which was getting us nowhere then they asked me to ask for the manager, I did not understand why but I did, I took care to be polite, the woman apologised and offered us some free food! I declined, embarrased, I made us all leave. I was later informed that she only did that because I sounded foreign, which was slightly annoying. We got free tickets to some social events and got free entry to a beach (ok, that was in exchange for a cigarette, the beach was close to the Chevron Estate, I cannot remember the name.) I did not know you had to pay some sorta entrace fee to go the beach but hey, we got there and we almost the only ones and I swear it felt like heaven. It sounds kinda trite but being there on the beach, looking out at the ocean and being surrounded by my loved ones brought tears to my eyes.
I also got asked out a lot, but a lot the guys struck me as shallow oh! this older guy, I am sure he was older than my pops, also asked me out, he was the chairman of Eko Island Club (which meant nothing to me because I did not know what that was, not that it would have mattered) dude actually sent his body gaurds to come and bring me to him, I woulda been scared but for the fact that it was at my cousin's wedding and there was police everywhere. Yikes! I told him I'd be back because I did not want to be rude.
It was an obscene affair, the wedding. I am sure there were over a thousand guests, they had some comedian guy, Julius Agwu as the MC, the Governor's wife, Oba Akiolu, the Elegushi of somewhere and some top politicians were all there. I would hate to have such a wedding, it turned into some networking event. I felt sorry for the bride, I am sure people forgot it was supposed to be her day!
This has gone on for longer than I intended...