Honesty meme, L's version.


I was tagged to do this 'Honesty' thing by Phoneparazzi I have been putting it off but I am rather bored. So, here it goes;

1. I gave up smoking in January, it was starting to get silly.

2. When I was seven, I stole something and I was proud of it. It was hair grease, my aunty had it, my cousins and I asked her to borrow it and she claimed she did not have any. We waited for her to go out, I took it out of her wardrobe and we sold it to the Fulani lady who did hair on my street. She could not ask us for it, we knew this. I got five Nairas for my efforts and I was happy.

3. I do not know how to ride a bike. It was a Sunday, Iya Sheni's Pepper stall was in the way, I tried to swerve and I ended up in the gutter, drenched and embarrassed, the boys fell about laughing, I stayed in the bath for hours and I swore off bikes.

4. I had a gay uncle, he was very effete. I did not know until I was about six that he was not like other men, he cooked with the women, went to the market and was always in the kitchen. I over heard my Alhaja and the other heads of the family telling him he either had to get married or forget he had family. I remember feeling sad for him, he left for a about six months and some other equally feminine men came to look for him, they never got far, they got shouted at by my aunts who called them all kinds of unseemly names. Still, I did not know what 'gay' meant until I moved to England aged 11, my uncle died two years ago aged 50. He had one son and the family threw a huge party for him, I remember watching the video and wondering if they were celebrating his life or the fact that he was now gone. My father said to me once, 'you know your Uncle Wahab was gay' and I ignored him.

5. I am avid reader, my room is like a mini library. I was taught to read by my youngest aunt, she was only eight years older me, so I thought she was the coolest thing ever. She used to make me read Mills & Boon books to her, I am still tryna decide if this was a good thing or not. I'd be like Aunty, what does 'hot member' mean and she'd say, 'gbenu s'oun (shut up) and finish reading' and I'd do just that.

6. I bought my first pair of Louboutins a month ago, I keep the shoe box near my bed. They remain unworn, no occasion has warranted the honour.

7. I had my first crush on a boy called 'Bassey' I thought he was the most beautiful boy ever. He had gray eyes that were always teary, he spoke to me once even though we lived on the same street.

8. I hate shopping for clothes, I like to have what I want in my mind and then walk into Topshop or H&M or Portobello and pick it up, of course it never works out like that. I get dragged around by my sister, who is a proper fashion head, and used as a mannequin . I love to shop for gadgets though, I spend an obscene amount of money on my tech things, it's a huge passion of mine.

9. I remained a virgin until twenty one. I thought I would wait until I fell in love and then I met Joel at uni, I was not in love with him but he was the only boy I have ever met who could turn me on with a touch. We had sex during 'Swordfish' we were the only ones in the theatre and he smelt so good, it was messy and a lot of fun,lol.

10. Yay, the final one. I walked in on my boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend (does that make sense?) naked once, we were all staying in the same house and I walked in without knocking, I expected no one to be in. I looked at her, she looked at me and I knew, I coulda had her if I wanted to, I had known it before then but that moment confirmed it. I apologised and walked out.

*This is an extra one, - I really like watching women dance, I don't mean all winding and grinding, just cool rhythmic body movements, there is nothing more sensual.

Okay, that is it. I have honoured the tag and I tag;

*CultureCynic.
*Lowlah.
*Nice Anon.

10 comments:

BSNC said...

numero uno

BSNC said...

eya poor you.. hope you didn't hurt yourself on the bike oo

you spoke to bassey just once..lol. and you stay on the same street.. hmm

L-VII said...

@BSNC, I was 7 and a wimp, what do....lol.

Bibi said...

congrats on the louboutin's. noting like em. feel you on the gay uncle part though. were they really celebrating his life or his death. made me think about a friend of mine.

Dante said...

Hmm....very open....for lack of a better word to use. I love this.
I feel the gay uncle part.
I think they were celebrating his life and death at the same time...
Life: that he managed to give them a son when they didn't expect much from him cos he was gay?
Death: cos he was dead and will definitely not cause any more embarrasment to the family....
Books....ahhhhh! I have like 1500 on my shelf..need to me some more..lol. Books...that is the life!
U spoke to bassey just once?!
Lol..we all had our basseys at some point...
U sound simple, yet nice but with a steely exterior to you....very hard! Lol

blogoratti said...

Hnnnm interesting read..
Lovely weekend*

Rose said...

This is nothing short of honest just as the name implies...
LOL@Bassey...and the bicycle stunt...
We have all been subjected to embarrassing incidents...

Nice Anon said...

Interesting. I will get around to doing this soon enough.

Nice Anon said...

Bia, I forgot to say you bought Louboutins??? cool cool

rayo said...

lol at stealin d hair cream knowin she cldnt ask abt it.