Missed opportunities?

I'm getting really prolific these days. :-).

I need some therapy!!! Not the sit in chair and tell me what's wrong kind, no. I need to do something I haven't done in a while, something that makes me grin from ear to ear. It's been a minute since I have had that kinda fun.

I'm confused, seriously. I had an interview, two weeks ago, prior to leaving my old job for this new one. The opportunity seemed so exciting, working in a different city, meeting people I would not ordinarily hang with, you know? Anyways, I left my job, got a new one (little clue, it's with one of the big four auditing firms) and I forgot about the interview. Today, what do you know, I got a call! Like, hey, we'd like to offer you the job!

I could not even be happy about it. I don't like being confused. On the face of it, the offer is cool, the job pays well but so does my current one. I have no idea what to do. I need to talk to someone about it. I am terrified that I'll make the wrong decision. It can't be solely about money, other things have to be weighed up.

I think I'll make a 'pros & cons' list. I need to see my thoughts and reasons on paper.

It's funny how things work, eh? Two years ago, I couldn't pay for a job, now.... Hmmn, I guess I gotta remember to be thankful.

I don't feel so good today and I know I won't for a long time. But after that, I'll be better, much.

Stay well.


Four day break

Hey! I'm feeling a little prolific these days. :-).

I've spent the whole day reading, can't complain though, it's been a while since I've done that. I like to read book
s about people of African ancestry, the whole thing intrigues, I look for evidence of their origin and other mushy things. Anyways, I recommend the below, it was a fantastic read. When I get a book that I love, I'd read it in about day, which is really annoying because I'd like to make it last. Oh well.

The book that I'm reading right now is:

I don't know what I think about it yet, it's slow but I like the imagery that the writer has employed. We'll see.

Oh, before I leave, I recorded a little piece that I have been working on. It's raw but listen and tell me whatchu think.

Stay well,

Nu gig, some old skool love ish.

(I saw the above online, just one of my lazy surf sessions. Suffice it to say, it became my wallpaper, I thought I'd share, it seems strangely apt)

I just wanted to write a short piece, the muse has been with me for a minute. So, I left my job..... Arggggh! Okay, that situation is not a big deal, I got something a better. I am actually proud of myself where this decision is concerned.. I have a tendency to get comfortable, I saw that creeping up this time and I wanted to knock it on the head. It's a progressive move, your girl's doing some things :-)

Okay, this is what I really wanted to riff on, I don't know how people of my moms' generation love. I'm tryna say, I do not know what it means to them, I do however suspect that it is neutered by culture, especially on the woman's part. I dunno that this is true for all parents but watching mine, it is hard for me to see how they could have ever loved each other yet it is obvious to me that must have at some point. That sounds like a contradiction, abi. But to see my pops talking about my mother, I know that dude must have dug that woman at some point, he gets that look in his eyes and a small smile plays about his lips, sorta like he's been transported into a scene that I'll never fully understand. But as as quickly as the look appears, it goes.

They have zero in common, both of them. Yet, they were for some reason successful in repressing their other needs and wants, I mean, they must have been to some extent, they've 5 children. Anyways, pops announced to me last week that he was ready to bail. My moms was heart broken as it is to be expected, after thirty years. After reflecting on it though, I am not sure that the pain emanates from his impending departure, I think there is also an eleement of shame involved. I dunno how to feel about that, her shame that HE is leaving. It's really rather strange and I am trying not to look at this with 'oyibo eyes' as I have been often accused.

There are a lotta things that are going through my head where they are both concerned, most of which I cannot say because it is, as they'd say, 'too big for my mouth'

So, I felt pretty lonely, all these conflicting emotions swirling around in my head, had to keep strong though, first daughter flex. :-)

I've been kept amused by a new friend of sort, she makes me laugh, she listens, I've sorta missed that, talking to someone about nothing in particular and know that you have that person's attention. We had a long debate last night on marriage and the Nigerian woman, hmmn her views deserve a post. Bush girl.

The soundtrack to this post Duncan Mighty 'I don't give a shot' Big tune! Reminds me of my recent trip to Naija.