This one time....

So, it's been a minute. That the unofficial opening sentence of any post I put up. I guess I outghta realise, I do this when the spirit moves me, like now.

I finally moved into my new place. The landlord agreed to take a little off the asking price, dude even left his internet on. I have been here two weeks now, it does not feel like home yet, I guess that'll come after a while. I miss my siblings.

I am really rather tempted to write about TV but I do not wanna be infected by that crazy impulse. The type that seems to drive us to tell our inner most thoughts and feeling to a wall. I have resolved to not write anything on here that I cannot say to TV in person. I feel somewhat exposed, guess if my blog was not known to TV, then I might have but as it is now, I cannot let the internet be the means through which we communicate feelings, be they anger or something close to something else....

What really inspired this post is sadness, a low humming kinda sadness. A feeling that can be provoked by memories that sneak up, especially after a fleeting glance at something you once shared with someone special.

I had a friend once that I loved so much, so very much. She and I grew apart, we'll never be as close we once were. This sounds like some mushy romantic thing, I guess it is, a friendship as intense as that which we shared cannot sound like anything else. Anyways, I was walking in the snow today, just keen as hell to get home and I passed a car playing a song and in that crazy moment, I wondered why she popped into my head.... Then I realised. It's not the first time, I had forgotten before but this year it feels final, like I won't get another chance to feel so bad about forgetting ever again. And if I hadn't, what would it have been worth for me to call and say happy birthday? We have not spoken in a while. Some friendships need to be nurtured, other can be paused and resumed when all interested parties meet again. I feel ours is the former. So, there it is. I am super sad right now. I dunno if you still read my blog P, if you do, it was real, always and since we can't really talk these days, I want you to know that that..... ah, erm, I'll tell you.

I am keen to discover new blogs, so please recommend.

I am a gadget head, as anyone who reads this blog knows, I am wondering if I should get these Dr. Dre headphones. I am pretty small, 5'3' to be exact and I reckon I'd look pretty silly to have those big ass headphones on my head, what do you think?

I don't like Kanye West's new joint. I thought I would but dude's rap talent is very close to nil. I dunno, it's just a bunch of hype. I especially loathe this track called 'blame game' that is just some misogynistic rubbish.

I forget birthdays, it's my mother's today and my pops had to call to remind me. She was just happy I called. I know, it'll cost me nothing to remember, but I hope those who love me will not judge me because of it ... lol! To TV, you have been warned in advance, yup.

Be good, Peace.

My song of the day, 'Kwanele' by Thandiswa.

On mute (TV et al)

Iwon't even say it, my usual. I've been gone, because I have had little time. I think I found somewhere to live. The landlord wants a lot, I want to pay less than a lot, so we're talking. The flat is the perfect size for me.

I am at work, HSBC has been kind enough to have free web access upstairs, except it's cold and the seating is uncomfortable, but it's free, so....

Yours Truly has been been on with TV. It has been an interesting ride, I think cupid has his foot (or is it 'her foot') dangerously close to some sensitive parts right now. I don't do the 'love' thing or I have never done the love thing. But, hmmmn. Me and TV have almost nothing in common. We don't like same films or music, we are so very different. Funnily enough, that is perfect! I need to be dragged outta my cocoon, a place that allows me little time for adventures and other things. We have intersting sex too. Intersting in that I am no longer sure of myself, my ability to please, I have reverted to the nervous me, waiting for directions, eager to please. It's mad!!!! I think that bloody Cupid has something to do with it.

Right now, TV and I are not talking. We had a thing last night. I wanted to talk, TV listened and promptly went back to tapping on the BB. I don't even want to go into in. Suffice it to say that I won't call again but if TV calls, I'll be happy to talk.

I am getting another tatt. The lovely Sugabelly, whose hand in marriage I secretly hope for, has drawn me 'L7' in the Igbo script. I wanted something Nigerian and that is the closest I could get.

I feel taken, like I want to be with TV but it's dangerous. TV doesn't talk to me and I suck at guessing. TV is on mute (lol, see that joke there!). TV would rather talk to twitter. (oh btw, I promised to not to read the twitter account, and I kept my promise, until today when I got rather curious. I confessed. Tv's mad about it. TV reads my blog, L7 is not mad about that. I keep it real on here, no fabrications, so TV reads exactly what I think about everything. What I found on the Twitter was not nice, two entries telling me to go 'Fuck myself'... yikes! I do try (to fuck myself that is) but it's not as much pleasure these days. :-). Oh well)

I gotta dash.

Ps - I met Thandiswa!!! I will write about that advernture later.

PP, Maroc...

Okay, who has been living an emotional roller coaster? After TV, I have been really good, celibate, turning down chances I would have grasped, if feels good not being led by my libido. With all that said, TV and I talk, a lot! I dunno that that is necessarily a good thing, that situation could get very messy. The upside of the whole not sleeping with anyone thing is... I have become an excellent masturbator (if there is such a thing). Too much information? Ehh, what the heck! One oughta know one's body well, it is a must in life! You need to know what you like to know what you want, I believe this. There is nothing more off putting that being a pillow princess! (one who just lays there and does nothing) Anticipate, engage and participate :-)

I went to Morocco! It was a great time, shame about the cuisine though. I really thought I would enjoy the food, I found it all rather bland save for one meal, a tangine we had at the main square. I intend to put up pictures from the trip when I'm less tired.

Yours Truly at the CTM bus station, Marrakesh. (I had terrible hair for the entire week!)

I've been gone for a minute! Why do I find myself saying that in every new post? In the meantime, I am nursing an e-crush on Sugabelly, she is my own blogger Goddess (shame the chic does not know just how mind blowing she is) and I have been catching up on some good music. On a serious note, Naija music is starting to bore me! If I remove the words 'Swagga, shekpe and shayo' a lotta artists would be mute! I wanna hear something original, something that screams 'Naija' and I am not talking about that psuedo American accent that all use. Okay, I am back to dipping in Saffa music now, discovered one joint whilst searching for something else, it bangs! I cannot say how much I dig the chic right now, her voice has been the soundtrack to my journey for the past week.

Quick question, how many people have sent naked pictures to someone? Via email or BBM (or whatever medium that exists for such things)? I like being titillated like that, pictures of bare shoulders, forearms, and lips exciting me. I have been over indulged by a particular person for a while, it's fun... Shame I do not take many pictures, I am rather convinced that I look like an alien in most of them (I am serious o. If I do put one up, it's because I have mulled it over and decided that you can just about make out that I am human :-)


So here's my lady of the moment, Thandiswa Mazwai. I have a thing for the Xhosa click, the ish is sexy as hell.



Until the muse takes me again, peace.

Secretly, over 18s.

I have started living vicariously through my friends! My life is rather boring right now. I have put a full stop to my sexual escapades. I just can't find the time, that is not to say I will turn you down if you're tryna gimme some, please feel free to holla, anytime, we can even exchange BB pins and then we'll decided what we wanna do. Okay hold on, does this count as me soliciting? Because that is a crime, abi? Nah, I am just tryna meet people so unlike myself.

(just in case some police like characters are reading this. Oh yeah, if you're not over 18, this here post is not for you, thanks!)

Okay lemme get serious, not that I was being entirely facetious, today is Sunday and I spent four hours at work. Such has been my life for the past three months.

I saw a friend last night, she reminded of times that I did any and everything. I was ever so tempted to give in to the past... See, that is what boredom does to to you!

I love being a banker, (okay,that's not true, I like the money that one can make being a banker) don't get me me wrong but I do not want my work/life balance to be skewed in favour of work.

I saw a film on Friday, 'The Secret In Their Eyes'. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a cinematic treat.

The above picture I took for a friend, note the cereal bowl, that was me enjoying an after work meal of Coco Pops, even though I hate milk, contradiction, eh?

Short piece this'll be. I am off to bed.



Peace.

In the gap (TV and Friend)

So, it has been two months and some since I blogged last. I have been busy, crazy busy. The new(ish) leaves me with hardly any time for myself. But, it's going well so I cannot complain.

During myself imposed hiatus, I had my birthday, I reconciled with an old friend, got in a love triangle of sorts. The latter was just crazy. More of it later but right...

May I just say that Saccharine Royalty is cheeky little bugger (as we say here in good old blighty). The best friend is a playwright, so he has written a musical. The thing about musicals is that you need music, abi? So I mentioned to Johnny, (the best friend) that I know this dude who does music and great posters. I called up SR and dude was like 'yes, who is this?' Of course he has my number (you're reading this, so let me say, 'yes, you do!') Anyways, he was slightly cold be he warmed up, I told him why I called and as I expected, he was cool. So, about a day later! I get an email from dude saying we could get together if I felt like it! I mean, if someone else said let's get together, I'd think they meant for coffee or just a general chit chat but SR, he meant let's fuck! I laughed, it was slightly flattering that he'd still be interested but he's a man now, so I guess I shouldn't read too deeply into that. He's a nice dude though, all things considered.

My birthday was interesting, in a completely different way to last year. I did not go 'out' as such. I went to work, as it fell on a Monday and I spent the night with, hmmn, what shall we call this one, let's just say, The Visitor (TV from now on). Now I mentioned earlier that I was caught in a love triangle, abi? Well, it was with TV and a friend. Now, I have made it clear on several occasions, to my lovers and friends, that right now, I just want to fuck, sleep around, get laid, whatever. The only caveat where that is concerned is that I will sleep with only that one person during any period of time, no double dipping for me, thanks. Okay, back to the matter at hand, TV, friend and yours truly, hung out on my birthday, it was cool. I did not get laid like I wanted and planned to because, well, you guessed it! Friend was around! We did everything but the main! It was frustrating as hell! But the next day we just chilled, I surprised myself, I did not get the urge to pick up my things and leave, I wanted to stay. This shocked me, it was the first time in a long, long time that I wanted to be around the morning after. They were here as tourists, TV and friend, so I guess a part of me did not mind being so unguarded, it was crazy though. I actually put my plans to go meet up with an old lover on the shelf because of TV (and friend, because one came with the other!).Maybe it's because TV was completely different to anyone I had been with but this I actually wanted to talk and cook! Imagine! It was cool though, I had fun with the whole thing, Johnny reckons I'm slipping, me? Hmmn, I dunno. As much as I liked them (in very different ways, might I add. I was crazily attracted to one and the other one I thought would make a good hang out buddy), I was very uncomfortable with the whole arrangement. Okay, this is getting to be a mantra from me but I cannot delve into the story much as I would love to, I have not sought permission from TV and friend and I do not want to upset anyone.

I am still in the process of trying to move out. I realise staying at home as long as I have has stunted me in so many ways. London is very expensive though, I am talking a grand for one a decent one bedroom flat with good transport links. I am willing to pay that much. Freedom, to employ the old cliché, is priceless.

Oh, to the friend I reconciled with. If you are familiar with this blog, you'll know I have/had a friend called E.Q. This chic meant the world to me, for real. We fell out last year, December, to be precise. It was very hard for me, more than I thought it could be. I guess I can say that I was heart broken. I called, wrote emails, left voicemails and all the while I wondered at the strange force that made me swallow my pride so completely, albeit four months after the fact. But I did all that anyway because I loved the chic, we were very different but I dug the fact that she could talk to me about anything. Long story short, we met up on a Saturday, I walked through Portobello Market to meet her, my heart pounding, thinking about what I would say to her, how I would fill her in on all the things I had been up to. When I finally saw her.... Nothing! All the nervous excitement dissipated and in its place was a low humming disappointment. We talked and it dawned on me that though we had know each other for years, I cared more about our break up than she did. Also, she had changed, in ways I can't exactly describe or maybe I have, I dunno but.... It finally dawned on me that we can never be again as we once were. It's shame really, I don't really make friends with women, it's just the way it has turned out. I'll still miss the chic but I have satisfied the burn to reconcile, now I am good.

It's been a while, so I had a lot to get off my chest.

I hope everyone's been good.

The picture above is of my birthday present to myself.It speaks for itself I think.

Oh! I am so excited about Rick Ross' new album, it's been a while for me where hip hop is concerned but this one looks good.

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Crossing lines, almost

So, I had an interesting weekend, it could have been better but... I did reach one interesting conclusion about myself though! I am not a great drinker. In my mind, I like to think that I can knock back shots, whilst swigging beers and downing mojitos, this is not true. I got drunk, like stupidly drunk. The kinda drunkenness that separates the body from the mind, I willed my body to do one thing and it completely ignored me! I had to force myself to throw up, just so I could walk.

Back to the essence of the weekend, I made some friends on FB and they're in London for a while, so yours truly took it upon herself to be a kinda tour guide. Might I add that I am a quite boring, I do not do the whole clubbing thing so I was a little nervous about how I was going to show my two friends a good time. I roped in some other friends and we headed out to town. We got to one spot, the music sucked!

Seriously, I am not much of a dancer but I move some and in order for that to happen, I need to at least hear some good shit but that was not to be. The DJ did shout out my friend whose birthday it was and she played ONE good song, this is after I begged her of course. After the time at the bar, we went to a cafe and this is where things sorta went south!

Now, I am afflicted with a perennial big mouth. Sometimes, I indulge myself by saying exactly what I mean to say, how I mean to say it, with little or no thought to how it'll affect people around me. If you've been keeping up with my blog, you'd know that one of the things I detest most is this precise aspect in some people. I basically said all kinds of things that should have earned me a slap (according to my very good friend) but did not. I managed to piss off two of my friends, one has gotten over it, she loves me too much not to (cue serious eye rolling sessions) the other, err, I am not so sure. She says it's 'ba wahala' but I do not know the chick well enough to take her word for it.

Anyway sha, I spent Saturday and Sunday feeling pretty bad, I am talker, hell. I could talk for Lagos Island but I reckon I went a little far. In order for what I am going on about to make perfect sense, I would have to write about some things which I cannot because they are not solely mine to tell. This is the horrible part if writing, where one has to remember to defer to other people's feeling when keeping such a public diary. Oh, another thing I did discover though is that free fucking, as I so crudely want to put it, always has repercussions! Yes, there goes my string free theory. By this I do not mean one person falling in love, if there is a chance of this happening, I am yet to be affected by it, a fact that I am very grateful for. But I mean, the next person I decide to engage with sexually, has to be someone that I would not be around but for sexing, does that make sense?

This blog of mine has turned into a running commentary on my sex life. I want this to be the last post on it for a while, unless I have some mind blowing, heart stopping sex! :-) This one person that I got down with last, is pretty cool, someone I could chill with even if were just hanging out, I am mildly surprised by the force of the physical attraction I felt, to be honest, sex can be pretty perfunctory for me, it's like, you want it, I want it, let's do the damn thing, lol. But there I was, studying crevices and grooves, remembering smiles and 360 type transformations, I was knocked off my stride some, so much so that I woulda pulled myself to the side and asked myself some questions if I could have. I am the kinda lover that enjoys being touched as well as touching, I am very responsive and I enjoy responses, I figured that as a woman, I gotta make sure that I am not a pillow princess, waiting to be touched with hands by her side, that is not a good look! I also enjoy being in control, as a matter of fact, I pride myself on that. So in this instance, that was not the case, I turned into a kitten, unusually submissive and hungry to touched, even thinking about it now makes me cringe... Hmmn, what I gotta figure out though is why! I have not had much time to process it, my mind has been too busy these days but when I do give it proper thought, I will share.

So, I gotta draw a line under my latest adventure, why? You may ask, well, my guard slipped a little, not by much and we are certainly not talking about a romantic kinda deal here but by enough to make me think, errr, enough of this now! That's sorta makes me a coward huh? Yes, I will not deny, I am not one for putting more than my body in the hands of someone I have nothing more than biblical relations with, Lol. Okay it is undeniable, I am a wimp! I think we'll just hang out and watch basketball together or something. I am typing this on my lunch break, such is my boredom. The new job is going well, it'll allow me to move out in a couple of weeks, fingers crossed. I went to Madame Tussauds, this is not something I would have done ordinarily but it was a friend's birthday and I was invited so, off I went. I would like to say now that I do not think it is a worthwhile way to spend one's hard earned money, seeing a bunch of wax celebrities doing nothing, it is just not my cup of tea. Any how, the picture above is Yours Truly and The Greatest, I dig him, yay!

I gotta jet now, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Oh! Has anyone heard some good music or seen a really good film they'd like to recommend? I have not had much time to discover new things these day. Peace!

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Job, like this.

It has been over a month!! May I confess that I suffer from chronic procrastination, I have been meaning to do this for a while....

So, since I wrote last. I got a job, in fact, at this very moment, I have two! I work at a Broker's at the moment, doing my Compliance/KYC thing, I love it there. It's very laid back, jeans and T-shirt kinda place. The pay is good and I am pretty much left to my own devices. Then, I had an interview at HSBC! I did not think I was going to get the job, the lady who conducted the interview was not nice at all! Anyhow, to cut the long story short, they offered me the job, it pays very well and it's a mid term contract. I was really conflicted about taking it. I dig loyalty and I felt really bad for a couple of days. It then dawned on my that I gotta do what's best for me. So yours truly is stacking them chip, you know? I am tryna go home!

That's the job front. On a more interesting note.... I took a hiatus from all forms of sexual activity, even masturbation! It was not as hard as I thought it'd be. Funnily though, I had more opportunities to get laid whilst that was going on, more than I would ordinarily.

My little ONS guy and I do not talk anymore, dude is as stubborn as he is honest. I am slightly disappointed that he is being that way but you know, how does the saying go, 'one cannot have the cake and eat it'. I wanted to keep it sexual, he came around to that and he was unwilling to bend. I admire that but still... What happened.. Well....

After our one (and only encounter) we talked for a while and we arranged another one. My grandmother died, so the last thing on my mind was sex. He called and I told him but he did not believe me, I guess he thought I'd make that up, just to get outta having sex with him, lol. What's the English for 'No thanks again?' Anways, I suggested we meet up in central London, since I still wanted to see him, I suggested we just talk and hang out. He then threw my earlier line in my face 'I have friends babe, we don't need to hang out' I must admit I was rather tickled when he said that... But dude said, there was no way he could come to central London, he just could not be bothered but that I must come over to his house.... Now, let me just state for the record, I could fly to Paris in the same time it takes me to get to his house. The whole episode was quite silly really and it is a shame in some ways, I was beginning to like him. That was the last day we spoke but we are still friends on FB.

Now, I have sorta decided to be a good a girl from now on. I know I can fuck, if that is what I want, but somehow, the novelty has worn off.... From Saccharine Royalty to now, I have done a bunch of things I cannot write about, I took a break to put some things in perspective and now, sex is great, bloody hell it is but it is not the be all... Right. :-)

As part of my support Naija effort, I bought 'The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives' I am yet to read it... But yeah, support your own folks...

That's all, this is all over the place, as is customary now. I try to cover as many things as possible..

The soundtrack to this; 'Princesses Nubiennes' by Les Nubians, I told you all how I feel about this album.

Stay well.

Disappointments et al.

It has been a long time since I have done this! The thought has crossed my mind on several occasions but between then and now, I have not been in the right mental space.

Anyway, here we are. I had the worst news ever today, strangely enough though, I am not too cut up about it. Here is what happened; yours truly got interviewed for her dream job at an investment bank, as some of you may know, I am a compliance analyst, blah blah. So, this job was basically me in charge of my own case load and reclassifying some clients that had been erroneously classified plus redesigning the compliance process, in short, it was my dream job!!!!!! So, I got the job, as I knew I would when I walked into the interview (I am not tryna brag but you know how you sometimes just get that feeling?.)

First round interview went very well, second round interview, even better. Got a call later that day tell me I had this highly paid, semi autonomous position. I was more than pleased. This all happened last week. I was supposed to start on Wednesday.....

So, on Tuesday morning, I get a call telling my start date had been moved up to Monday because they needed to sort out entry passes and a desk and all that. I was like 'cool, this'll give me more time to prepare for it'. I felt pretty relaxed about the whole thing, I got another call asking me if I'd be interested in another position, with a small investment firm, not quite as fancy as the first one and it did not pay as well. My first instinct was to tell them I had a job and to turn it down but something told me not to, so I did not. I told them yes and that I would be available on Monday 12th of April for interview.

So today, I was cleaning my room, playing jazz, just feeling really chilled, my phone rings. It's the HR people from the first job and the conversation went something like so. 'Ms. L7, we are sorry to inform you that the project you were hired for has been discontinued, the department could not get the increased budget approved' I was quiet for a while, then I thanked her. Now, I cannot say I was surprised, the whole thing was just too good to be true! I feel odd but not devastated but I really gotta thank whichever God it was that gave me the foresight not to turn down the second interview! I have had some time to think about it and I am totally mellow now, I have accepted it as one of those things that happen.

It has been a weird month. My grandmother died, I will write about that in more detail later.

Also, the dude that I fooled around with, well, lets just there is a little more to the story, I will write more about that later too.

I am seriously horny these days though. It has been going on for about a week. I am being teased mercilessly by someone and it is driving me bonkers! I am talking pictures, text messages, emails and all sorts. I feel like saying 'STOP' but I really like it. It's a schizophrenic kinda situation.

I have been listening to a lot of music lately, in between tryna write my novel and rekindling friendships and all at that. I will post my new favourite joint below. I am thinking about doing a whole post on music and how it affects me.

Kai, someone needs to talk to this promiscuous brain of mine. Apart from lusting after the one who is teasing me, there is also someone else. But this case get part two sha, dis one na real wait and see. The guy tink say he fit buss my head but lai lai, dat one no be my portion! He thinks he has found a maga but I plan to teach him a real Gidi style lesson... He thinks I am one of the small girls he can lie to! I for cut de guy off ehn but I dey gbadun his story telling. I have him saved as 'TBM' (Tales By Moonlight) in my phone. Kai, the guy can lie! We'll see sha, I'll keep you all posted.

My song of the moment, I love, love this joint. It's by Aloe Blacc and it is called 'I Need A Dollar' The video is also a work of art, it's an old school kinda song and dude sounds real desperate, like he means what he is saying, he needs that dollar damn it! Props to my boy Mickey Kane for the heads up.




I gotta jet, take care all.

One Night Stands and complications.

How do women approach one night stands, I mean, the question that is really on my mind is, what is the best way to have a one night stand? Is it best to do it with a complete stranger or should one seek out someone one is familiar with? I do not know the best answer but I will write from experience.

So, I had a ons once. It was not your typical ons because, me being me, I had to plan everything down to the last climax, lol. Anyways, he and I made plans, we talked and the big day came around. I made my way over to his place, let me tell you, dude lived really far, it took a me a long time to get to his. On the way there, all kinds of thoughts went through my mind on, would I be attracted to him? Would he be clean? I mean my biggest fear was that we would be sexually incompatible and let me just say, that would not have funny at all! I had this thought in my head of him being really small, I mean we had exchanged pictures but pictures lie, photoshop and all that. I also had this fear that he would be without imagination, seriously, I thought about all kinds of off putting things.

I must say, I was not immediately attracted to him, he is a nice looking guy, not too tall, slim and very clean. I just did not feel a spark straight away, I am hard to please sometimes, lol. To cut the long story short, we did the deed. (May I say he has the nicest equipment I have ever seen, my fear about him being small proved to be foolish! I wish I could show you all a picture, lol! It is perfect, I told him as much)

Now, I had a good time and he is good company. The problem is, we did not just have sex and leave it at that, we have since kept in touch and we send the odd text here and there. The complications that I think could arise are (1) I like him mildly, he is honest and he is very passionate about things he likes. Also he has a this crazy sex drive and he is a freak! (2) I think he might like me. This sounds a little conceited and I know if he ever reads this he'll agree but I get the feeling he does (3). we have talked about things that are outside my carefully constructed boundaries.

All this sounds like I am over thinking things but, I have a lot of time on my hands these days, so... Also, he was my first ons and I have since concluded that I think I can do it without it being a big deal, at least I think so. Before, I found it hard to reconcile my sexual and intellectual halves but now, I am very comfortable with being a thinking being who has no problems with sleeping with whomever takes her fancy (lol, I am not quite an Ashawo yet though.)

Finally, we plan to do it again, he might cook for me, the last time we got some pizza, fucked, smoked, fucked some more, smoked again, I got up, had a shower and I bounced. Actually, that makes me sounds like a pro, which I am not! But, yeah, he is a nice guy and maybe it'll be better if he was a bit of an asshole. Eh?

See, I have found out that I can like one person and sleep with someone else. I am more of a sexual being that I gave myself credit for! I do maintain that I am not crazy about sex though, it creeps up on me once in a while and I have to have it.

I spoke with my ex about this and he thinks I am tryna be like a man, why pray tell is it alright for a man to think with a penis and I can't think with my vagina? I must let it be known that my heart is not attached to my nether region, I have discovered that and I plan to milk it until I fall in love (I am not too optimistic where that is concerned).

I do not know what this sexual awakening is about and I am not trying to say I am the flyest chick out there but I have had opportunities, with men as well as women, but I had been emotionally hamstrung (as a result of expectations I placed on myself) and now, I am just so bloody nonchalant about it, it's as exhilarating as it is scary.

Okay, I am sorry it has been a while, I have been going through some things, I will write about some of them soon.

Start to Finish et al

I am happy! I do not know why but it is a rare day I get home from work and I am not completely drained. So, I had an interesting weekend, but you know there are some stories one cannot tell without speaking on things other people might not want you to speak about? Outta respect for the other party I won't speak on it. That makes me a kinda tease right? I do apologise for that. :-)

How sexy is honesty? I find it such a strong turn on, especially in men. I think a lot of women swear that they want it and then find that they'd rather be with the guy that spins tales about everything. I would rather be with the 'starving artist' type than a guy who flashes wads of cash about, there is something inherently dishonest about ostentatious displays of wealth. I do not mind bus hopping and watching pirate films, just keep it real with me, I can take it. This is by no means me suggesting that only poor or average men can be honest, this is just my experience. I was just thinking about this on Sunday. I like passion, I do not mean rip each other's clothes off kinda passion (though that'll be wonderful) I mean a passion for something or someone. I like listening to people talk about their passions, watching their expressions, I find that rather moving

So, I think I mentioned that I bought some audio books? The crazy thing is how disappointed I am with one of them. 'Half of a yellow sun' by C.N. Adichie is one of my favourite books. I bought the audio thinking I could enjoying it while reviewing some work. To my dismay, the lady doing the reading makes Nigerians sound like deaf Kenyans! What is it about the West and how they think of Africans, I mean I know that different Nigerians have disparate accents depending on where they come from, but she was so far off. I wrote the website a letter, I figured I'd alert them to their gross error, no use in just complaining about it right? I could not listen to the whole thing, the accent just threw me. Things like that are disrespectful as far as I am concerned.

I have had this song on repeat for the past hour, I do that sometimes. It's called 'Love Nwantinti' by H-Man. (he happens to be one of my favourite Naija artists. 'Ndoli Ndoli pt.2 and 'Uwadiwe' are great songs that you should all check out)



I liked how H-Man looked like a 'nerd in love' he is rather adorable especially that little speech impediment he has.

I am off to watch 'Big Love' now.

L.

Tongue Kissing, Yay or Nay? (S.R. contd)

Okay, it turns out SR is stubborn. I usually like stubbon, it make me more determined to get my own way but his is a different case. He is the biggest tease in the entire universe. Of course he'll disagree but that does not change the fact! After driving me nuts about this whole 'no libido' thing, he came around, at least I think he did, I am not entirely sure. Let me give you all a sample of you textual conversation.

L: I want you to understand we won't fuck tomorrow but maybe Saturday?

SR: Saturday seems nice, if my libido returns before then that is

L: SR, forget you abeg. I don't like being toyed with. This whole libido thing is boring now, I am so bored of it.

SR: But it's not on purpose now. L, 'tell you what, you just show up that day, if we don't fuck good, if we do, even better.

I did not get back to him for a while because I was busy, then he writes...

SR: So, we doing this or what?

L: SR, you are toying with me and it is boring now. If I come to your place, it'll be for one thing only. I have friends babe, we don't need to hang out. If you are not down for that then let's draw a line under it, no harm, no foul.

SR: So maybe it's time you called me then? Lets talk this through

L: No, SR, I will not be blackmailed into calling you! I am looking for a guy that can do it ofuma ofuma. I thought we could do that but it seems you wanna play with me and I am too horny for mind games.

SR: Lmao. Nah babes, just call. Please?

L: No, I won't. When you make up your mind, let me know.

SR: Na wa o

L: Hmmn, I feel like I have pressurised you unduly. Give your libido some time to recover and if it ever does, we can resume our plans.

SR: It's the way you're going about it though. I wanna fuck, yes but I can gbadun your.... Fuck it! You know what? I'm fucking. Lemme know when. Don't wanna seem like I am catching feelings.

So, it seemed we back to the same page, then today? Lol!

(The above is all verbatim, no editing has been done)



Why is it the fact that I do not like tongue kissing bothers you? Is tongue kissing a necessary part of sex? If you like using your tongue so much, trust me, I can find certain spots on my body that'll appreciate it.

The thought of a tongue in mouth makes me sick, literally. I hate it, I love kissing though, I love being kissed by someone who will do it how I like it done. I am trying to give you clues so we both have a good time.

It appears this is a non negotiable point for you, as it is for me. So I guess that is it then. To think I picked out lingerie, whatta waste.

Oh! Nice Anon, you made a comment that I might like him, he read it and told me the same thing like 'oh I think you're falling for me' It is your fault o!

So I guess this chapter is closed.

Randoms and Saccharine Royalty contd..

I am very happy right now, certain are starting to fall in to place. So, here I am here cheesing like I won something. Last night, I could not sleep, long Friday, so I decided to record an audio blog. I did not have the time to re record it, so I sound rather halting, I apologise. Also, I was rather tired. I am off to watch 'Avatar' with my brother.

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Your Saccharine Highness (contd..)

You called! Why did you do that? You have to know that I have rules. Rules you cannot break. I could have ignored your call but that would have been juvenile. Did you find out what 'Subjective' means? I like smart guys, even if only for one night. Do not call me again, let's keep it textual.

Until then, keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean.

L.

Inspirement, et al.

I decided to give into my muse. I am so damned lazy about blogging, but here I am on a Saturday night, at home because it so damned cold. I have all kinds of thoughts swimming in my head but I shan't bore you all and myself. I did, as a result of my boredom, buy some cool things today. Firstly, I got this: ‘A Christmas Carol' I am a sucker for French films, this one was complicated and beautiful. I would recommend it

Then I bought these! They are the best headphones under £100 that I have ever owned and I have about six pairs at home. I would recommend these to anyone who is looking for a good cheap pair of 'phones. They set me back just under £25. Worth the dough and a lot more, for real. Koss PortaPro headphones, would most definitely recommend!

After those purchases, I got a satchel. I had been looking for one for the longest, my sister, who is the fashion queen in my house, suggested Urban Outfitters and I found this little gem, it's very me, I dunno how so but once I saw it, I was like 'Yes!'.

Next, I got some books, I buy a book every week. This week I bought two audio books and one regular book. I try to show love to my Naija artists, so, I bought, in audio, 'Things Fall Apart' (which I have read a thousand times but hearing the book in audio was a wonderful experience), 'Half Of A Yellow Sun' by Chimamanda Adichie (I cannot tell you how much I love this woman, words fail me. Have I even mentioned that what I find most attractive about a person is intelligence? Not in the conventional 2+2 sense either, I like someone that can provoke thought, someone that can make me re-assess things I was sure about. That makes me wet...) and 'Everything Good Will Come' by Sefi Atta.

The blog tittle is inspired by the CultureCynic. I dig her blog majorly*, I am very far from fashionable but I really dig how she does her thing. Who knows, maybe yours truly will put up some pics. Er, okay, no! I have a very eclectic style, (at the risk of sounding rather clichéd) I am a girly tomboy, (I do not know how to explain that, you just have to meet me to figure it out.) so, I guess that is reflected in the way I dress. I oughta make more of an effort, it'll make my mother very happy, actually, I think she just wants me to wear make-up. I have nothing against it, it's just not me.

I am inspired right now because I am snowed in but I have found a film to watch! I am out, stay blessed all.

The soundtrack to this latest entry is 'Black Summer's Night' by Maxwell

* Plus, she has a very alluring mouth.

Your Saccharine Highness.

Hello all.

It has been a while, the hiatus was necessary as I had some things to take care of. I hope all is well with everyone. I have three things to get off my chest today. (1) The Saccharine Royal (2) Break-ups and (3) Nigeria. In that order exactly. I have so busy with work, goodness, Christmas was boring, the day after I went to my boy Johnny's place, it was his birthday, myself and Mac got silly drunk, see, I do not do hard liquor but I went too far and my head paid for it the next day. I met Johnny's girl friend and I really like her. May I just say how much of a relief it is to actually like my friend's GF? She is intelligent, friendly and good for him, she also strikes me as someone who would not put up with his bullshit and that is all right with me. .. Okay topic one.

Saccharine Royalty

This is about a certain person in the blogosphere, will please accept my apology. My Blackberry developed a fault and the number you have has been on voicemail and since we're not trying to get all personal, I decided not to email you. I have sent the phone in for repairs, in the mean time keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean, you may just be richly rewarded for it... I ran into an ex of mine, I told him what I had planned with you, he dared me to do it, if I do and I tell my ex, would that make a some kinda weirdo? Would you feel used?

Break-ups

I am currently heart broken! My Co-D is not talking to me. I never thought I could miss someone that I am not romantically involved with as much as I miss her. I am of little doubt that we'll talk again but that fact is immaterial right now, someone please knock some sense in to this girl's head. I know she loves me, I know she misses me, but I also know that she won't call me! This is one of the rare situations where I have to put my foot down and not call, I will readily admit that I am stubborn, but this situation is not about that, it is about respect and trust. I am tired of having to prove that I care, it is very taxing on my system.

Nigeria

I love this country, yes, I had to move abroad in order to realise that but I do love this country. I am really scared for it right now, it seems we are hurtling towards some major crises. I do not want the country to break up nor do I want any kind of political unrest but I guess the latter might be necessary, the former gives me nightmares that keep me awake for hours on end. I need to put my money where my mouth is and move home, we need to start that political action group, ASAP!