One Night Stands and complications.

How do women approach one night stands, I mean, the question that is really on my mind is, what is the best way to have a one night stand? Is it best to do it with a complete stranger or should one seek out someone one is familiar with? I do not know the best answer but I will write from experience.

So, I had a ons once. It was not your typical ons because, me being me, I had to plan everything down to the last climax, lol. Anyways, he and I made plans, we talked and the big day came around. I made my way over to his place, let me tell you, dude lived really far, it took a me a long time to get to his. On the way there, all kinds of thoughts went through my mind on, would I be attracted to him? Would he be clean? I mean my biggest fear was that we would be sexually incompatible and let me just say, that would not have funny at all! I had this thought in my head of him being really small, I mean we had exchanged pictures but pictures lie, photoshop and all that. I also had this fear that he would be without imagination, seriously, I thought about all kinds of off putting things.

I must say, I was not immediately attracted to him, he is a nice looking guy, not too tall, slim and very clean. I just did not feel a spark straight away, I am hard to please sometimes, lol. To cut the long story short, we did the deed. (May I say he has the nicest equipment I have ever seen, my fear about him being small proved to be foolish! I wish I could show you all a picture, lol! It is perfect, I told him as much)

Now, I had a good time and he is good company. The problem is, we did not just have sex and leave it at that, we have since kept in touch and we send the odd text here and there. The complications that I think could arise are (1) I like him mildly, he is honest and he is very passionate about things he likes. Also he has a this crazy sex drive and he is a freak! (2) I think he might like me. This sounds a little conceited and I know if he ever reads this he'll agree but I get the feeling he does (3). we have talked about things that are outside my carefully constructed boundaries.

All this sounds like I am over thinking things but, I have a lot of time on my hands these days, so... Also, he was my first ons and I have since concluded that I think I can do it without it being a big deal, at least I think so. Before, I found it hard to reconcile my sexual and intellectual halves but now, I am very comfortable with being a thinking being who has no problems with sleeping with whomever takes her fancy (lol, I am not quite an Ashawo yet though.)

Finally, we plan to do it again, he might cook for me, the last time we got some pizza, fucked, smoked, fucked some more, smoked again, I got up, had a shower and I bounced. Actually, that makes me sounds like a pro, which I am not! But, yeah, he is a nice guy and maybe it'll be better if he was a bit of an asshole. Eh?

See, I have found out that I can like one person and sleep with someone else. I am more of a sexual being that I gave myself credit for! I do maintain that I am not crazy about sex though, it creeps up on me once in a while and I have to have it.

I spoke with my ex about this and he thinks I am tryna be like a man, why pray tell is it alright for a man to think with a penis and I can't think with my vagina? I must let it be known that my heart is not attached to my nether region, I have discovered that and I plan to milk it until I fall in love (I am not too optimistic where that is concerned).

I do not know what this sexual awakening is about and I am not trying to say I am the flyest chick out there but I have had opportunities, with men as well as women, but I had been emotionally hamstrung (as a result of expectations I placed on myself) and now, I am just so bloody nonchalant about it, it's as exhilarating as it is scary.

Okay, I am sorry it has been a while, I have been going through some things, I will write about some of them soon.


Yinkuslolo said...

why do i feel that this may lead to a FwB thing?

did u fuck him high?

L-VII said...

It probably already it an FwB thing. I was just a little merry, not high.

BSNC said...

You have been through some things. Hope you are good though : )

TayneMent said...

Hey there this is off topic but please could you drop the Big Love link at, pretty please?

Anyaposh said...

girl, you're on some rare happy juice! I can't have a ONS for anything unless I'm completely pissed-face drunk, it's just not happening. I like to think of myself as too much of a lady to do that. hahaha... but if you've worked out that part of disembodying your emotions from your vagina; kudos to you!

LucidLilith said...

EMM...i always like to say, get your itch scratched. BUT if you intend to keep your ONS an ONS, then break off contact, otherwise, move on the next level:FWB and if that works ourt for you, move on to the next level.

LovePaprika said...

why pray tell is it alright for a man to think with a penis and I can't think with my vagina?


And I think I jst found a sisteh on "I have found out that I can like one person and sleep with someone else"... very true...

As for ur ex finking that.. wow! that is kinda shallow no offence.. trying to be like a man my a"

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

You can so have an ONS and not have feeling for him. Do that a lot, you really have to be able to detach your feelings.

Mamuje said...

I have never had a ONS.... I am just not into NSA sex, I just cant handle it. Kai. Naim make congeal one kill me

Tisha said...

You must have been hurt;
there is just no way you would feel natural about something like that.

yes its natural to have those urges at least i find them a part of my life now.

there's always self-control