Your Saccharine Highness (contd..)

You called! Why did you do that? You have to know that I have rules. Rules you cannot break. I could have ignored your call but that would have been juvenile. Did you find out what 'Subjective' means? I like smart guys, even if only for one night. Do not call me again, let's keep it textual.

Until then, keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean.

L.

Inspirement, et al.

I decided to give into my muse. I am so damned lazy about blogging, but here I am on a Saturday night, at home because it so damned cold. I have all kinds of thoughts swimming in my head but I shan't bore you all and myself. I did, as a result of my boredom, buy some cool things today. Firstly, I got this: ‘A Christmas Carol' I am a sucker for French films, this one was complicated and beautiful. I would recommend it

Then I bought these! They are the best headphones under £100 that I have ever owned and I have about six pairs at home. I would recommend these to anyone who is looking for a good cheap pair of 'phones. They set me back just under £25. Worth the dough and a lot more, for real. Koss PortaPro headphones, would most definitely recommend!

After those purchases, I got a satchel. I had been looking for one for the longest, my sister, who is the fashion queen in my house, suggested Urban Outfitters and I found this little gem, it's very me, I dunno how so but once I saw it, I was like 'Yes!'.

Next, I got some books, I buy a book every week. This week I bought two audio books and one regular book. I try to show love to my Naija artists, so, I bought, in audio, 'Things Fall Apart' (which I have read a thousand times but hearing the book in audio was a wonderful experience), 'Half Of A Yellow Sun' by Chimamanda Adichie (I cannot tell you how much I love this woman, words fail me. Have I even mentioned that what I find most attractive about a person is intelligence? Not in the conventional 2+2 sense either, I like someone that can provoke thought, someone that can make me re-assess things I was sure about. That makes me wet...) and 'Everything Good Will Come' by Sefi Atta.

The blog tittle is inspired by the CultureCynic. I dig her blog majorly*, I am very far from fashionable but I really dig how she does her thing. Who knows, maybe yours truly will put up some pics. Er, okay, no! I have a very eclectic style, (at the risk of sounding rather clichéd) I am a girly tomboy, (I do not know how to explain that, you just have to meet me to figure it out.) so, I guess that is reflected in the way I dress. I oughta make more of an effort, it'll make my mother very happy, actually, I think she just wants me to wear make-up. I have nothing against it, it's just not me.

I am inspired right now because I am snowed in but I have found a film to watch! I am out, stay blessed all.

The soundtrack to this latest entry is 'Black Summer's Night' by Maxwell

* Plus, she has a very alluring mouth.

Your Saccharine Highness.

Hello all.

It has been a while, the hiatus was necessary as I had some things to take care of. I hope all is well with everyone. I have three things to get off my chest today. (1) The Saccharine Royal (2) Break-ups and (3) Nigeria. In that order exactly. I have so busy with work, goodness, Christmas was boring, the day after I went to my boy Johnny's place, it was his birthday, myself and Mac got silly drunk, see, I do not do hard liquor but I went too far and my head paid for it the next day. I met Johnny's girl friend and I really like her. May I just say how much of a relief it is to actually like my friend's GF? She is intelligent, friendly and good for him, she also strikes me as someone who would not put up with his bullshit and that is all right with me. .. Okay topic one.

Saccharine Royalty

This is about a certain person in the blogosphere, will please accept my apology. My Blackberry developed a fault and the number you have has been on voicemail and since we're not trying to get all personal, I decided not to email you. I have sent the phone in for repairs, in the mean time keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean, you may just be richly rewarded for it... I ran into an ex of mine, I told him what I had planned with you, he dared me to do it, if I do and I tell my ex, would that make a some kinda weirdo? Would you feel used?

Break-ups

I am currently heart broken! My Co-D is not talking to me. I never thought I could miss someone that I am not romantically involved with as much as I miss her. I am of little doubt that we'll talk again but that fact is immaterial right now, someone please knock some sense in to this girl's head. I know she loves me, I know she misses me, but I also know that she won't call me! This is one of the rare situations where I have to put my foot down and not call, I will readily admit that I am stubborn, but this situation is not about that, it is about respect and trust. I am tired of having to prove that I care, it is very taxing on my system.

Nigeria

I love this country, yes, I had to move abroad in order to realise that but I do love this country. I am really scared for it right now, it seems we are hurtling towards some major crises. I do not want the country to break up nor do I want any kind of political unrest but I guess the latter might be necessary, the former gives me nightmares that keep me awake for hours on end. I need to put my money where my mouth is and move home, we need to start that political action group, ASAP!

De-laid!

So, I am sorry that I have not posted in while, my new (old) job is taking a lot out of me. Now, about my title, this is the long and short of it, I need to get laid. There, I said it! The need announced itself to me at work when I started looking at my colleague in a funky manner. This dude is just your average Joe, nothing particularly sexy about him but such is my need. It has been a long time, longer than I want to admit, lol. I always imagine that I will find someone attractive and just hop into bed but as much as I want that to be the case, it is just not me. I have found myself in situations where I can do a whole lot sans getting naked with someone I have no emotional connection with. By this I do not mean I have to be in love, no. I just have to know more than the person's name, that's all.

So, ladies and gentlemen, how do I solve a problem like this? I do not not want a relationship right now, I do not have much to offer someone, I am tryna get myself together, but I do want to have wild passionate sex. I want to talk first, watch a football game after, pick up my hand bag and head out, no strings attached, no feelings caught.

I know some people will read this roll and their eyes on some 'this girl is an ashewo*' tip, lol. Lemme just make it clear now, I do not care, this blog is all about me being honest about where I'm at and what I'm feeling, so please do not quote the bible to me, abeg! I really do believe that one's libido is like a car, it has to be serviced, tested and satiated.

I do not have a particularly crazy sex drive, as a matter of fact, I can go months without giving a damn but when I get into my zone, hmmn, let's just say, Viagra has nothing on me.

Anyways, I do not want to beat this to death, I believe you all catch my gist, so, if you have any ideas, drop me a line.

I am listening to 'Nwata' by Flavour, it is the perfect soundtrack to accompany my rather amorous mood.

* = Prostitute, Ho'. Whore, Puta, etcetera

New city and a little something

I am a happy bunny! It's weird but I have not felt this way in while. Yours truly spent a part of last week in Birmingham on business (lol, I feel rather cheeky saying that but it is true) I was in a lovely hotel in the city centre, and it got me thinking, here I am in this room, this double bed going to waste, no action. No 6'3' Adonis to make it beautiful for me. I have to do more of that this coming week, I will be working in Birmingham from Monday through Friday, it's nice to get outta London, I love the city but new things can be inspiring. I wrote this little piece some time ago and I am feeling rather generous right now, so I'll share.

The truth from ?

The lies come

Frequently and seldom leave

I am not one of many,

Not even one a few

No clues

Or a seven page manual

On how to - deconstruct me

But you,

So keen to test the waters

Glass in hand

Ready to drink at the confluence of my

Blood sweat and tears.

Come again.

Marriage and me?

Sundays have this rather odd effect on me, I always end up in this weird reflective mood, this Sunday is no different. Anyway, Manchester United lost a match today, I am working on weaning myself off football. So, I am back to banking, in fact, I am back at the bank that I worked at before. This is not good. Let me, be honest, I am glad to be making so money, but this can't be it, surely?

So, enough about that. My cousin's wedding got me thinking about what marriage means and if I see myself in such an institution. I have never been able to picture myself in that space, being married with 2.4 children. The idea appeals to me though, I want to make my mother (especially) happy and I know she dreams of a life for us that she was not able to live. But, am I willing to commit to something so life altering because I want her to be proud? I am not so sure now. I want to be happy, I want to travel, without being encumbered by family ties and societal expectations. If the right guy comes along and I fall madly in love with him, and I find myself in that space,then I will do it. I just know that being married is not on the list of things to tick off before I turn thirty. As a Nigerian female, I know what the expectations are and I do wonder sometimes if I will be brave enough to do what suits me. I am pretty convinced (I did a lot soul searching on this) that a marriage is supposed to be about the two people in it, if one goes into it tryna make other people happy, the whole thing is already doomed.

When I was younger, I used to think it was because I was afraid I would not be able to submit to anyone (that is still the truth) but now I know it is because I am yet to see an example of a marriage that makes me want to get married. I do not like the arrangement between most of the couple I have seen. Of course, each couple have to find their own groove and my idea of a an equitable union is not other people's, this much I know but, when most of examples are Nigerian and the woman is expected to, how do I put it, understand that certain things are inevitable, it makes me feel funny. Of course, I salute these women and their never ending endurance but I do not see myself being able to do the same. Is it the curse of my Western upbringing? Because so many people would lead us to believe that Nigerian couples rarely break up and this why our children are better behaved than European children. I do no agree with that line of thought. I remember what was expected of me as a child in Nigeria and I would never put my child(ren) through some of it. With that said, I would ideally like to raise my child in a two parent home, but hey, if I end up as a lone parent, I'll be fine. My aunt who raised me (She is the most formidable woman I know) is a single parent, she did it with love, she has the kind of strength that only makes sense to me now, if I can acquire a modicum of that at some point in my life, I will be a happy bunny. Oh, there is also this other idea that no one really is a single parent in Naija, I guess there is some truth in this. We had my uncle living with us and my paternal grand mother also lived about ten minutes away, and there were lots of relatives ready to correct us here and there, (Lagos Island is a really small place). So, I guess the proverbial village did raise me...

I have to be at work rather early tomorrow, there are tons of contracts I have to read, (this is what I do for a living, in a nutshell. Of course they make it sound fancy but hey).
I am currently listening to 'The Joshua Tree' by U2

It's been a while.

I am sorry about the hiatus, I have been away but not gone, as some folks will know.

I would like to stress that I cannot wait for this year to be over. It has been odd. I have definitely learned some things. Do you know that being creative can be a curse (at the risk of sounding conceited). There are many things that I can do, too many. The problem for me is that I need to figure out which nail to hammer. As I have mentioned before (I think) I got made redundant earlier this year, I was sad and relieved at the same time. Banking pays handsomely but it does not speak to my soul, I am an idealist like that, what ever it is I end up doing, has to make my heart hum. So, here in lies the dilemma. In the past seven months, I have started a book, a film and I am still working on my Tv project, I do not know which one I would like to concentrate my energies on, I enjoy doing all these things. Ah, it is driving me mad. I want to be less interested, less inclined to indulge myself in my many interests. Does this sound like I am kvetching about nothing?

Oh, as an aside, my cousin is getting married on Saturday and I have been forced to spend fifty pounds on the Aso Ebi. I am very annoyed about that, I feel cheated. I love my cousin, he is a nice enough guy but I feel dude ought to have saved some more money towards this occasion. I am getting fleeced and I am supposed to be happy about it? I asked my mother why it is compulsory for me to wear the Ankarra, and she asked me why I make it my mission to be difficult. Imagine! Not only do I have to pay 10 times (by my own estimation) what the fabric is worth, I also have to pay the seamstress. Now, her case is another matter entirely. I asked her how much it is for her to sew me a dress, nothing too elaborate (as I have no plans to wear this dress again). She says 'oh, my sister, pay what you think I deserve' Now, see me see trouble, how does one even begin to make sense of that. See rock, see hard place and yours truly is bang in the middle. I'll either pay her too little (and look like a tight fisted git) or I'll pay too much (and she'll think she's found a maga). I have to go try on the dress tomorrow, I think then I'll decide if being a git is better than being a maga.

I am happy that my blogging muse chose tonight to pay me a visit, I missed the whole it. Right now, I am listening 'Choklate' by Choklate.