Les portes du souvenir

I know you all know about my fascination with Koko Mansion, I watched it incessantly for three week, the chick I wanted to win, Shona, did not win. I was disappointed but the show got me through the boredom that threatened to swallow me whole. I mentioned KM because I am amazed at how conservative Nigeria still is. It is a thing of permanent frustration to me that a lot of Naija people, mine included, do not seem to understand that humans do not roll off an assembly line with the same thoughts, desires, likes and dislikes. I think I liked Shona because she struck me as defiant, her dread locks, her tom boyishness, I found it all endearing (*) but it also made me sad, I knew she could never win such a show. The (seemingly) docile woman is still held up as ideal for all Nigerians to aspire to, ah!

I am still evolving as a thinking and feeling being and one of the greatest joys of my life is being exposed to different people from all over the world, I was a child when it occurred to me that I hated sweet things, I mentioned it to someone and they thought I was abnormal. My mouth has propelled me into a lot of sticky situations, I cannot tell you how many frog jumps and 'close your eyes and raise your hands' hours I had to endure because of my big mouth.. As if the big mouth was not enough, I was afflicted with some sorta blind courage....

When I was eight, I was accused of being a witch, it was a funny experience for me because I orchestrated the whole thing. I was in boarding school, we had Saturday service and the youth group leader advised us that anyone who had dreams about meat, raw or cooked, should step forward. Now, I must confess I had no such dreams but I am that cat, so I stepped forward, just me! Imagine, the entire YG were wimps, anyway, she took me to me to the head mistress, I cannot remembered exactly what was discussed but I was informed that I, the star pupil in bible study, was a witch, I wanted to laugh, instead I cried and walked of to my room. I had this affliction as a child to speak when I knew it would have been better to be quiet, anyways, as a result of all this rubbish, I was given a letter asking me to not come back to school. My uncle came, threatened to sue the school and the matter was dropped. I finished school a year later and I do not recall anyone else being accused of being a witch. Maybe I did something good, I do not know, it could have been terrible for me, but I had that foolish courage as a child...

I do not know what opened these doors of memory but it was one of the most poignant events of a rather eventful girlhood and I am thankful I do still remember.

Right now, I am enjoying the beautiful sounds of Les Nubians, their first album, Princesses Nubiennes, would be one of my five dessert island discs. This video is of my favourite song on the album.

....Be mused.

Sunday night and I got an unexpected visit from my muse. I am over my little flu situation so, thank you for all the good wishes.

I have nothing on my mind, I spent the whole day (feel free to shake your head in disgust, lol) watching 'Koko Mansion'. I am thoroughly hooked on the show, It finishes on Sunday which is fine by me, I want Shona to win but anyone but Rita will be okay.

I got through my charity work on Friday, they got me a bottle of cava, which I was thrilled about, I drank it all by myself, my tolerance for alcohol has shot up, I have been consuming more...

Now, whilst I was laid up recovering from my little situation, I read a couple of books, the most notable one being Staceyanne Chin's autobiography, I was so disappointed I almost cried, I was very excited when I got the book but it was poorly written and it just left me upset. I sorta gave up on books for the week.

I do not know if I have mentioned it on the blogosphere but I am doing a show, young Nigerians discussing topical issues, we are recording on Saturday, if it turns out well, I will put it up. Eventually I want to go back home, I am from a small Island in Naija, and all this city life business might just be too much for me, so I got to catch my share of fish. If you have any ideas about things that are worth talking about, please drop me a line.

I mentioned 6'3 a while back, I must announce that that situation is officially dead, dude likes Oyibo women ONLY! Imagine my dismay when it finally dawned on me, I am alright about it now though I must say that I should have known but such was the attraction I had to him that I ignored it, he has been the inspiration behind many late nights but no more, that is not to say if I had the chance I'd turn him down..Lol. I get crushes rather easily and I already have another, I cannot write about that one unfortunately,because L will go all out, lol. It's all good, I might find a good way to talk about it in some sorta abstract manner, so as to give no clues about the sexiness of which I speak....

Oh, I have a small request to make, I am willing to do something in return, of course it has to be within reason, I would ask someone to kindly hook me up with a play list of Naija love songs. I am on my Naija thing hard right now.

My younger sister discovered Fela, by this I mean she has now decided that likes him after many Sundays of complaining about Pops' Afro jams. So for the past three days, She has had 'I no be gentleman' on repeat, it is driving me up the wall but I am rather encouraged by her interest in, shows that my years of trying is paying off.

I am very impressed by Sugarbelly, she is amazing, if you have not visited her blog, I suggest you do asap.

Stay blessed all,

L.

When pigs flu.

I got this bloody swine flu thing, I have been confined to my private quarters at home, the family is running from me. I am rather amused by the whole thing. See, I never panic when I get any sort of ailment, I do not visit the GP, I would usually wait for the whole things to blow over.

On Friday, I woke up feeling less that normal but because I had planned to go see a film, that is what I did, after work. I was shivering like hell but I did not care, we watched '35 Shots of rum', it was slow but beautiful. I got home and I was stricken by the worse pain in the head I had ever experienced. I ran to my bed and then stared at the ceiling and I eventually fell asleep.

I woke up on Saturday feeling marginally better, so I went out to the little picnic at work, it rained so I did not stay for long. Instead of taking myself home like I should have, no, that would have been to sensible. I decided to go out with the boys to Notting Hill with the boys and I had copious amounts of alcohol and smoked more than I should have (well considering I was supposed to be an ex smoker... those pictures are proof of the fact that I am a glutton for punishment. First pic is Yours truly, E.Q. and Pete).

Oh as well as cooking for the boys, I went to Ruby's with E.Q. and Pete. The former took me out and but I could not taste the food, which probably led me to drink more. Then she and I went back to the boys and chilled, she left and I drank some more. I did all this in one day! So, imagine how I felt when I got in at 4am.

I am also feeling mildly guilty because I might have passed this bloody thing on to other people....

Anyways, after three days of waking up in a pool of sweat, I finally took myself in and I was told I had the dreaded H1N1. I am relived that it was not some unheard of virus that was wrecking havoc on my body.

I am almost well now, so......

The really annoying part about this is the light aversion and constant drowsiness.

I gotta go, the soundtrack to the entry is 'Wonder' by Katie Reider, great album, you all should check it out. She died a year ago today.

Oh, would anyone care to suggest a good book or film to me, I might be laid up for a while longer..

L.

6'3 and randoms.

It has been a while and I am feel bad about that, my aim is to put up a new post least once a week. Anyway, I have been rather busy lately, been catching up with my 'Nigerian-ess'. What does that entail I hear you ask, well, consuming copius amounts of this show called 'koko mansion'. I am still tryna work out what it is I think of the show. I do know that I am pleased that it dispelled the idea that I had about young Nigerian women. A lot of them are articulate and vivacious, I like that. I have even found a favourite, I do not know her name, she has dreads and she is very outspoken. That is what I think, prima facie, on the other hand, I am somewhat embarassed by the show, it is anathema to everything I stand for, the idea of women as a commodity, it sorta worries me that our collective identity will be swamped in this rush to be more western.

Something that excited me though was a prominent Nigerian journalist getting smacked down by Banky W. I am not fan of his but Mr. W. showed that there is a lot of verve in the youth, it is often channelled through the only way young Nigerians can safely express themselves and that is music.........but damn, dude got smacked down and I loved it.

I am lusting after Roger Federer right now, he has he nicest calves I have seen in a while.

I took part in a fund raiser for the charity I work with, they had me sing, now, you have all heard my talking voice, so it's easy to imagine what I sing like, I tried to tell the woman but she would not listen. Anyway, I got up there and did my thing, they applauded and told me how well I sang, but that is the thing with oyibo people, I can never tell when they are being honest.

I was thinking about my crush, I might have mentioned him a few times before, let's just call him 6'3......... This FB thing is crazy, I saw some pictures of dude with some of his friends and there was not a black person in sight.....That worries me, it made me rather sad actually. Granted my feeling for him extend no further than his body, I do not have a right to feel sad about that one way or the other but I do. I looked at the pictures, pale hands on his chest, his hands in blonde hair and this thought popped into my head, 'he's tryna run his fingers through someone's hair, spontaneous showers and all. And it's obvious, he ain't thinking about me' . I know people tend to think of lust as something superficial, but this is not the case. This is lust that leaves me breathless with want, I really want him to have me. I am prepared to be told how crazy I am, I have no feeling for him whatsoever, I know we won't talk about the merits of abstract art or argue about Bird or Coltrane but there is just something about the way he wears his shirts and how he smells, the image that invades my mind when I think of him is not safe to write here, there is a small chance that someone who know him reads this (I am not a fan of censorship but I am being careful with this one). He is the only guy that I know I will proposition should the chance arise.

Man, you really should check out Maxwell's new album, I have had it on repeat for the past couple of week, it is pure flames.

The soundtrack to this entry is 'Electric Relaxation' by ATCQ.

I am off to take a cold shower, see, I just gotta write about 6'3 and voila.......

Guiness

I was in bed, reading some news when my muse hit me... I had to get the words of out my mind (if you write, you'll know what I mean) I hit record and the below is what came out, I refined it some but it remains largely as I thought it. I left in my little errors, I thought I captured it the way I wanted to and I did not want to re-record it. I laid it over 'Flamenco Sketches' by Miles Davis

I have transcribed it, so read and/or listen, whichever pleases you most, I'd be happy for you to.

Be good.

P.s. thanks to Sugabelly, I found a nice and easy audio thingy...

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Guiness

it happens in deserted streets,

in half naked boys opening bottles of that Irish black with jagged teeth

where beauty was quite within their reach but always out of their grasp

they make love in the back of abandoned cars

barely there back seats

coiled springs penetrate exposed flesh

bringing them closer to that white light

they don't dare sleep

this is where hope fears to tread

where those with hungry stomachs that barely feed

know that the living and the dead will eventually meet

this is pleasure unspoken

we had never known anything like this

ignoring the rustiness of our confines,

I want him

the jangling sounds of the loosening belt buckle

his sweaty skin on mine this right here is the proof

I am not above you

yes I reek of perfume and you're bathed in scents that the streets give you

I have no strength to run from this, nor do I want to

You know the danger reeled me in, I saw what most ignore

those eyes searching for a place within me that you can rest easy

and I am not talking of the juncture within my thighs

you were looking for a joy and I was brave enough to give

you took only that which was offered, you never reached for more

at first I was displeased, thinking you did not want me,

but I was mistaken

you were waiting to be led down back alleys, and open doors that I have no keys for

and I was surprised at the strength within myself

here I was, trying to rescue a nomad who willing embraced death

look, you'll wander no more, I'll guided to many oases

we'll face death and survive

he'll visit while we engage in this dance, a waltz, no salsa

our bodies moving on the two and four

you won't let me fall will you?

I am a stranger to these parts, I know nothing of your pain, you know I don't!

but still you hold me, this is a moment that you could never have dreamed

and I dare not remember it

it was just one of those of those nights

me, a stranger on streets that won't welcome me because I do not belong

and you a nomad lost, looking to be rescued

and some how we found each other,

we did.

©

Ruby slept not.

Hello all. As the weeks go by, I realise just how little time I seem to get to myself. Anyways, as promised...

The VII(th) was wonderful, one of the best times I have had in a while and it was important for that to be the case, as documented, I had been feeling pretty low but the guys came through for me.

The above is me and two of my favourite women in the world, yours truly is in the middle and R23 on the left, E.Q., my co-d on the right. I chose the picture because it just sums up how happy I was. The boys were great and I felt like a princess. (my sis will kill me, so I gotta take down the pic soon) The soiree was at Ruby&Sequoia, very cool spot, if a little pretentious. I thought I'd hob nob it with the habitués of exclusive watering holes...

Oh, another totally random thing, I need to join the gym again, I could not get into my favourite pair of shorts today, not good. I am not a freak about my weight but this cannot be going down, summer is here and this is when looking one's best is mandatory.

I have been trawling the blogosphere and I came across a new favourite, this sister is beyond amazing, I am totally inspired by her. She has quickly become one of my most frequent stops in the virtual world. Sugarbelly is the name, check out her site, it is unreal.

I am going to Paris, a belated birthday present from E.Q. Let me tell you all, I am very excited but I feel Paris is somewhat cliché, but I intend to have a boat load of fun.

I have had no sleep since Thursday night, I hung out with Johnny after work yesterday, drinking copious amounts of rose, I woke up with a well deserved headache and I am still nursing it now. Drinking is really not that good.... I am off to make some coffee and I will try to catch up on some badly needed shut eye, I know caffeine is mean to have the opposite effect, but it soothes me and sleep comes easily when I am soothed...

Be well all.

My birthday today.... the VII(th)

I had a ball last night and the body is still recovering. I will add to this later... I hope you all enjoy your birthdays.....


L.