Anonymously, censor me,

So, I called Verastic's show last week. The topic was ‘anonymous bloggers’ The pros and cons of it (or something like that)

I thought about the implications of me not being anonymous, though I blog under a pseudonym, most people that know me, will know that that is me.

Also, I send people to my blog, like, if they ask me these ‘getting you know you’ kinda questions, I always say, here’s my blog, go read it.

Also, I loathe the idea of keeping a secret blog, where only a select few will know I write or know the url. I made the conscious decision to keep an online diary; I fully understood what that meant. And, I like to read what people have to say, differing opinions are always welcomed.

In the past year, I have had to amend three posts. The first two were because I thought about what I had written and I felt so exposed, like my emotions were out there for all to see, actually the feeling was akin to being naked! And, I was not comfortable with that if I am not comfortable, I take it down. The third one, well, I think I might have been a little ‘unready’ to put it up when I did, but I've saved it. I think it’s something I’d want to read about in year, to know what I was thinking and feeling and where my head was at. That is why I blog after all.

Once, my boy’s ex read my blog and something that I had written innocently, a throwaway comment almost, caused her pain. Caused her to think things that were not there because of how she chose to understand me, and her history with my boy. I felt bad, but I was not sorry. I did not write anything about her, nor did I comment on their relationship. I tried to help her see were I was coming from but that did not go down too well. So in the end, I have to decide what is important.

I know that the downside of being so open is that people may read the blog and use the information in a way that I am not cool with but the opportunity to write what I want about my own life, emotions et al, far outweigh that fear.

I won’t resort to blogging anonymously but I will take other people’s privacy into consideration. Ultimately, this is my space, my own arena, somewhere I possess a modicum of freedom. I won’t give that up.

I have two songs of the moment, one’s an oldie, and the other is a remix . Firstly, we have ‘Fu-Gee-La’ by the Fugess. There’s something about the way Luaryn sings the chorus that has been getting to me these days, that ‘Ooh la la la lalala sweeet thing’ I love it!




The second is ‘Trust Issues (remix)’ by The Weekend. This songs bangs, the original is by Drake and as usual, dude is on his love/like kinda tip. This remix is more about bravado, from the protagonist and his object of lust, that is so in my zone right now. So, yeah, check it out!

That's me for this this entry, stay blessed all. x. Peace.

Me Being, Distracted. (1. The Gadget Edition)

Me Being, Distracted. (1. The Gadget Edition)



So, I love gadgets. I might have mentioned that before but I really love gadgets. So, in the spirit of my love, here is a breakdown.

I am mainly an audiophile; I am on an incessant quest for a device that can deliver damn near perfect audio. I have speakers, headphones, earphones because of this singular mission. Currently, I’ve got beautiful cherry wood speakers with great drivers (really, the sound that these bad boys out put is just great and to think they are about 6 years old), I have a blue tooth speaker, the sound from that is not so impressive but the technology is in the incipient stages, so I cannot complain, plus it’s mad convenient. Lastly, I’ve got a baby wireless speaker, the sound is great, the price was even better, I’d recommend it.




Now, to my passion, my babies, my joys… (Yes, I am slightly nutty but I think you all know that by now) My headphones! I’ve got 5 headphones at the moment; they are all black, all pretty. These are my two favourites, Marshall Majors, bought for me by one of my favourite women  and these Bowers & Wilkins P5s, (That I call Marshall& Kora, yes, I name my gadgets! I may introduce you to the rest of my headphones by name, should the mood take me, I’m sure you’re excited!) bought by yours truly. They both sound great but different. I prefer the Marshalls because they are not as ostentatious as the P5s but I had to have the P5s, I’m a music head and game recognise game.




I knew I wanted to wanted to buy a phone, I had grown quite tired of the Blackberry Bold and its wack OS, its small ass screen and general shittiness. So, I did mad research for a phone that I could use as a personal media player (pmp) as well as having the functionalities that I was looking for from a phone. I decided on the Samsung Galaxy S II. Goodness, the phone is the business, as a pmp, it functions beautifully, the picture quality is great, the Android OS is much better than the shitty ass BB OS, the only reason I still hold the BB is to speak to Naija people. Anyway, I dig my phone, and I didn’t want an Iphone, its ubiquity and Apple’s general paranoia about content put me right off. I wanna do as I please with content that I have purchased or placed on my phone, Apple does not want to allow that, so it can bugger right off when it comes to phones. I’d recommend the SG SII any day. Really, it’s a great piece of kit. I call her Sadé.


Finally, I caught the bug! My boy has been on about the wonders of this thing for years and I’ve just basically aired him. But I succumbed; my senses were overwhelmed with the beauty of the thing. So, when it came time for me to upgrade my laptop, I thought long and hard, did mad research and decided to get a……. *sigh* MAC! I have no opinions on it yet as I’ve just bought it, I’ll give it about a week to see if we’re compatible. I wanted a strong masculine name for him, so I asked around, E.Q. suggested Nkém, and that’s what he’s called.


These are the things that give me comfort right now, I'd put up a photo of E.Q. but she's not a gadget... She's been good to me.

I have two songs of the moment, I like both for different reasons. This one, 'Stimela' by Hugh Masekela speaks to my soul, so I choose to share it with you. My boy Mac put me on to this particular song, dude has the best taste in music, really. I wait for him to discover something and then share, I almost always dig whatever he recommends. So here, this is a masterpiece and I'm sure it is well known to most folks but I'm a Johnny-come-lately. :-)



I bid you peace.

Final Quarter. (Static)

So, I've been wanting to write for a minute now. Been constructing paragraphs in my head for about a week now. But, as I've doing since I started this blogging thing, I'll write from my head or heart, wherever the words choose to emanate.

The point has been made. :-)




My song of the moment: 'Can't Do Better' by Jojo. She went hard on that track!

The VIIth



So, it was yours truly’s birthday on the 7th! I’m a year older, I’m not so sure if I’ve gotten any wiser though.I was going to write a long reflective post but I think that is unnecessary considering I've kept a diary of sorts on this blog.

The first thing most people asked me was ‘how does it feel to be a year older’ Dumb ass question. Like a new feeling will suddenly descend as soon as the clock hits 12. I feel the same now as I did before my birthday, the one difference, I will say though, is the thought that I need to own something. I.e. a house, car, business (okay, I have this but it’s not very exciting) or some land. The latter is the most attractive proposition of all. So, overtime and weekends at work is me for a while.

Now, I’d be the first to tell anyone willing to listen that I am super boring. I talk a good game but ultimately, I am not the party starting or life of the party (once it’s started) kinda chic…. No! Left to me, I’d spend most birthdays in my underwear, eating plantain crisps and watching war films. But, luckily, I have friends, people around me who are determined to save me from my own tedium.  . So, on Sunday, the boys took me to see Asa! She was great, she sounds just like she does on wax. She engaged with the audience, in her French accented English and she laughed a lot. I had a good time.

My birthday was on Tuesday. Not a very sexy day for birthdays but still, heaven be praised, I’m another year in. A friend of mine took me out! It was way more than I expected. I got some flowers, a book and a fancy Italian lunch, it was great. Then we went to see ‘Pirates of The Caribbean’ (Johnny Depp is a weak spot for me, I admire dude’s dexterity and the fact that he does not take himself too seriously, to top it off, he is rather easy on the eye) So, that was my birthday, in sum!

Oh, one gripe I have. My siblings are the worst!!! They remind me, very often, that being the eldest comes with certain responsibilities but between all four of them, not one card did I receive. To top it off, my sister calls me on Wednesday like, ‘Sis, there’s no food at home can you buy us some takeaway’…. Of course, I’m a sucker, so... Then she calls me today (Friday) like, ‘my friend has booked some tables for her birthday, she can’t afford the deposit, can you give me thirty pounds?’ See the thing about my sisters is that they all know I find it almost impossible to say ‘no’ to them and I am baffled as to why that is the case. Anyways, I gave her the dough but I am going to have a talk to her about being responsible and considerate. They are all grown now and I’m thinking I need to teach them some lessons. It’ll be hard but I have to make myself, otherwise, they’d never learn.

I bought myself some presents… Yay! A pair of Converses (because I prefer them to trainers), a Samsung Galaxy S II phone (I intend to blog on this later, I am so in love right now I can’t think straight. It’s a great purchase and it came at the right time) and ten driving lessons. No, I can’t drive; it’s rather embarrassing at this point. I’ll admit, though, that I do not intend to get a car, I just need to acquire the skill. So, I had my first lesson on Wednesday, it was so boring, really. I hope I don’t have to suffer that for ten weeks, or else my plan to learn will be swiftly aborted.
I’m meeting up with the Co-D (or is that the ex Co-D) on Saturday. I’d be excited if I wasn’t so nervous. I wrote about our break up and the one and only time we’d met up since here. The deep freeze between us has been thawing and I miss her wit. She’s the one person in my life who can tell me about myself, in ways that jolts me into action. Johnny is much too nice, E-Mac is very tentative about these things, and the only other person who could maybe do it (but would never) is P but my relationship with her is very different to that I have with my other friends. So, yeah, back to E.Q. I’m seeing her and we’re gonna hang out at some fancy spot that she has chosen.

I’m typing this at my desk. I have met my objectives for the day, I must say that I am not particularly keen on this office, it is cold and most of my colleagues are close in age to my pops.

I’m off now, I gotta go to my girl Tinu’s goodbye party. I am going to miss her so much. She is off to Naija. The upside is that when I’m in Gidi, there is somewhere for me to stay and someone cool for to hang with!

Below is my song of the moment. It’s ‘Let Me Know’ by Collie Buddz. (One white boy that could get it and then some!)


An hour

I'm slightly high right now, off nicotine. That happens to me sometimes. I smoke, not heavily though. Sometimes when I inhale, I get light-headed and my eyes narrow, it's akin to a cannabis induced expression, or I've heard. :-)

The new job is, erm, well, interesting. I'm flying all the way solo. My manager is working in another city, so, it's me and the team. I'm slightly scared training new people, they sorta expect you to know everything. I'm pretty confident with what I know, vis-a-vis work, it's the expectations that jar me a little bit but hey, I wanted the challenge, so here it goes.

I went to watch rugby with my boy, Johnny. It was a very odd experience. Dude is into all sorts of sports, I was distracted, the men wear teeny tiny underwear like shorts but that was not the cause of my distraction. It was far too cold for me to enjoy this outdoor sport, I wanted to be at home! But, dude comes to my things, so I guess, I felt like I had to do it. Still, getting to hang with him is always good, keeps my brain fresh.

So, as a little treat to myself, I was working on this little piece. It's called an hour. If you read it tell me what you think.
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An hour.

Tonight, my door bell rang. I was in the middle of watching 'The Good Wife' or fantasising, I cannot quite remember which. Anyway, I was pulled outta my reverie, walked to the door bare footed. I opened the door in a hurry, blinking, rapidly. Err, I wasn't expecting you. Hands in your coat pockets, a half smile on your face. I was tempted to ask you, in the manner in which I felt it 'What do you want'. Instead, I steadied my gaze, ready for the words I knew were coming. 'I'm sorry' you said, 'forgive me'. I stepped aside to let you in. You were too late, yesterday, I cared.

See, I had woken up, picked a shirt I thought you'd like, we're doing lunch, going to a quiet little side cafe, we were gonna talk, or maybe I would have shown you the little Chinese guy who makes little sculptures from grass blades, I dunno. There's a canal close to my office, we would have walked past it, there are trees too, tall thick trees that conceal all kinds of things, hmmn, this is the point where I'd get hastily rewarded for my patience.

For an afternoon, maybe an hour, we'd forget that it's been a long month. I hate walking in heels but I 'd slow down, the time has to last longer than this. In my head I expected too much, way too much. But I'll fill you in. Back to my little apartment, where you tell me again that you're sorry. Now it's my turn for the half smile, 'I know, I know you are' but an hour would have made all the difference.

I wake up, to the sound of my door buzzer going off, I'm pretty sure it's about to be dejavu.
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I'm off to bed, it has been a long day. Stay blessed.

Missed opportunities?

I'm getting really prolific these days. :-).

I need some therapy!!! Not the sit in chair and tell me what's wrong kind, no. I need to do something I haven't done in a while, something that makes me grin from ear to ear. It's been a minute since I have had that kinda fun.

I'm confused, seriously. I had an interview, two weeks ago, prior to leaving my old job for this new one. The opportunity seemed so exciting, working in a different city, meeting people I would not ordinarily hang with, you know? Anyways, I left my job, got a new one (little clue, it's with one of the big four auditing firms) and I forgot about the interview. Today, what do you know, I got a call! Like, hey, we'd like to offer you the job!

I could not even be happy about it. I don't like being confused. On the face of it, the offer is cool, the job pays well but so does my current one. I have no idea what to do. I need to talk to someone about it. I am terrified that I'll make the wrong decision. It can't be solely about money, other things have to be weighed up.

I think I'll make a 'pros & cons' list. I need to see my thoughts and reasons on paper.

It's funny how things work, eh? Two years ago, I couldn't pay for a job, now.... Hmmn, I guess I gotta remember to be thankful.

I don't feel so good today and I know I won't for a long time. But after that, I'll be better, much.

Stay well.

Peace.

Four day break

Hey! I'm feeling a little prolific these days. :-).

I've spent the whole day reading, can't complain though, it's been a while since I've done that. I like to read book
s about people of African ancestry, the whole thing intrigues, I look for evidence of their origin and other mushy things. Anyways, I recommend the below, it was a fantastic read. When I get a book that I love, I'd read it in about day, which is really annoying because I'd like to make it last. Oh well.


The book that I'm reading right now is:



I don't know what I think about it yet, it's slow but I like the imagery that the writer has employed. We'll see.


Oh, before I leave, I recorded a little piece that I have been working on. It's raw but listen and tell me whatchu think.






Stay well,
Peace.