This one time....

So, it's been a minute. That the unofficial opening sentence of any post I put up. I guess I outghta realise, I do this when the spirit moves me, like now.

I finally moved into my new place. The landlord agreed to take a little off the asking price, dude even left his internet on. I have been here two weeks now, it does not feel like home yet, I guess that'll come after a while. I miss my siblings.

I am really rather tempted to write about TV but I do not wanna be infected by that crazy impulse. The type that seems to drive us to tell our inner most thoughts and feeling to a wall. I have resolved to not write anything on here that I cannot say to TV in person. I feel somewhat exposed, guess if my blog was not known to TV, then I might have but as it is now, I cannot let the internet be the means through which we communicate feelings, be they anger or something close to something else....

What really inspired this post is sadness, a low humming kinda sadness. A feeling that can be provoked by memories that sneak up, especially after a fleeting glance at something you once shared with someone special.

I had a friend once that I loved so much, so very much. She and I grew apart, we'll never be as close we once were. This sounds like some mushy romantic thing, I guess it is, a friendship as intense as that which we shared cannot sound like anything else. Anyways, I was walking in the snow today, just keen as hell to get home and I passed a car playing a song and in that crazy moment, I wondered why she popped into my head.... Then I realised. It's not the first time, I had forgotten before but this year it feels final, like I won't get another chance to feel so bad about forgetting ever again. And if I hadn't, what would it have been worth for me to call and say happy birthday? We have not spoken in a while. Some friendships need to be nurtured, other can be paused and resumed when all interested parties meet again. I feel ours is the former. So, there it is. I am super sad right now. I dunno if you still read my blog P, if you do, it was real, always and since we can't really talk these days, I want you to know that that..... ah, erm, I'll tell you.

I am keen to discover new blogs, so please recommend.

I am a gadget head, as anyone who reads this blog knows, I am wondering if I should get these Dr. Dre headphones. I am pretty small, 5'3' to be exact and I reckon I'd look pretty silly to have those big ass headphones on my head, what do you think?

I don't like Kanye West's new joint. I thought I would but dude's rap talent is very close to nil. I dunno, it's just a bunch of hype. I especially loathe this track called 'blame game' that is just some misogynistic rubbish.

I forget birthdays, it's my mother's today and my pops had to call to remind me. She was just happy I called. I know, it'll cost me nothing to remember, but I hope those who love me will not judge me because of it ... lol! To TV, you have been warned in advance, yup.

Be good, Peace.

My song of the day, 'Kwanele' by Thandiswa.

On mute (TV et al)

Iwon't even say it, my usual. I've been gone, because I have had little time. I think I found somewhere to live. The landlord wants a lot, I want to pay less than a lot, so we're talking. The flat is the perfect size for me.

I am at work, HSBC has been kind enough to have free web access upstairs, except it's cold and the seating is uncomfortable, but it's free, so....

Yours Truly has been been on with TV. It has been an interesting ride, I think cupid has his foot (or is it 'her foot') dangerously close to some sensitive parts right now. I don't do the 'love' thing or I have never done the love thing. But, hmmmn. Me and TV have almost nothing in common. We don't like same films or music, we are so very different. Funnily enough, that is perfect! I need to be dragged outta my cocoon, a place that allows me little time for adventures and other things. We have intersting sex too. Intersting in that I am no longer sure of myself, my ability to please, I have reverted to the nervous me, waiting for directions, eager to please. It's mad!!!! I think that bloody Cupid has something to do with it.

Right now, TV and I are not talking. We had a thing last night. I wanted to talk, TV listened and promptly went back to tapping on the BB. I don't even want to go into in. Suffice it to say that I won't call again but if TV calls, I'll be happy to talk.

I am getting another tatt. The lovely Sugabelly, whose hand in marriage I secretly hope for, has drawn me 'L7' in the Igbo script. I wanted something Nigerian and that is the closest I could get.

I feel taken, like I want to be with TV but it's dangerous. TV doesn't talk to me and I suck at guessing. TV is on mute (lol, see that joke there!). TV would rather talk to twitter. (oh btw, I promised to not to read the twitter account, and I kept my promise, until today when I got rather curious. I confessed. Tv's mad about it. TV reads my blog, L7 is not mad about that. I keep it real on here, no fabrications, so TV reads exactly what I think about everything. What I found on the Twitter was not nice, two entries telling me to go 'Fuck myself'... yikes! I do try (to fuck myself that is) but it's not as much pleasure these days. :-). Oh well)

I gotta dash.

Ps - I met Thandiswa!!! I will write about that advernture later.

PP, Maroc...

Okay, who has been living an emotional roller coaster? After TV, I have been really good, celibate, turning down chances I would have grasped, if feels good not being led by my libido. With all that said, TV and I talk, a lot! I dunno that that is necessarily a good thing, that situation could get very messy. The upside of the whole not sleeping with anyone thing is... I have become an excellent masturbator (if there is such a thing). Too much information? Ehh, what the heck! One oughta know one's body well, it is a must in life! You need to know what you like to know what you want, I believe this. There is nothing more off putting that being a pillow princess! (one who just lays there and does nothing) Anticipate, engage and participate :-)

I went to Morocco! It was a great time, shame about the cuisine though. I really thought I would enjoy the food, I found it all rather bland save for one meal, a tangine we had at the main square. I intend to put up pictures from the trip when I'm less tired.

Yours Truly at the CTM bus station, Marrakesh. (I had terrible hair for the entire week!)

I've been gone for a minute! Why do I find myself saying that in every new post? In the meantime, I am nursing an e-crush on Sugabelly, she is my own blogger Goddess (shame the chic does not know just how mind blowing she is) and I have been catching up on some good music. On a serious note, Naija music is starting to bore me! If I remove the words 'Swagga, shekpe and shayo' a lotta artists would be mute! I wanna hear something original, something that screams 'Naija' and I am not talking about that psuedo American accent that all use. Okay, I am back to dipping in Saffa music now, discovered one joint whilst searching for something else, it bangs! I cannot say how much I dig the chic right now, her voice has been the soundtrack to my journey for the past week.

Quick question, how many people have sent naked pictures to someone? Via email or BBM (or whatever medium that exists for such things)? I like being titillated like that, pictures of bare shoulders, forearms, and lips exciting me. I have been over indulged by a particular person for a while, it's fun... Shame I do not take many pictures, I am rather convinced that I look like an alien in most of them (I am serious o. If I do put one up, it's because I have mulled it over and decided that you can just about make out that I am human :-)


So here's my lady of the moment, Thandiswa Mazwai. I have a thing for the Xhosa click, the ish is sexy as hell.



Until the muse takes me again, peace.

Secretly, over 18s.

I have started living vicariously through my friends! My life is rather boring right now. I have put a full stop to my sexual escapades. I just can't find the time, that is not to say I will turn you down if you're tryna gimme some, please feel free to holla, anytime, we can even exchange BB pins and then we'll decided what we wanna do. Okay hold on, does this count as me soliciting? Because that is a crime, abi? Nah, I am just tryna meet people so unlike myself.

(just in case some police like characters are reading this. Oh yeah, if you're not over 18, this here post is not for you, thanks!)

Okay lemme get serious, not that I was being entirely facetious, today is Sunday and I spent four hours at work. Such has been my life for the past three months.

I saw a friend last night, she reminded of times that I did any and everything. I was ever so tempted to give in to the past... See, that is what boredom does to to you!

I love being a banker, (okay,that's not true, I like the money that one can make being a banker) don't get me me wrong but I do not want my work/life balance to be skewed in favour of work.

I saw a film on Friday, 'The Secret In Their Eyes'. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a cinematic treat.

The above picture I took for a friend, note the cereal bowl, that was me enjoying an after work meal of Coco Pops, even though I hate milk, contradiction, eh?

Short piece this'll be. I am off to bed.



Peace.

In the gap (TV and Friend)

So, it has been two months and some since I blogged last. I have been busy, crazy busy. The new(ish) leaves me with hardly any time for myself. But, it's going well so I cannot complain.

During myself imposed hiatus, I had my birthday, I reconciled with an old friend, got in a love triangle of sorts. The latter was just crazy. More of it later but right...

May I just say that Saccharine Royalty is cheeky little bugger (as we say here in good old blighty). The best friend is a playwright, so he has written a musical. The thing about musicals is that you need music, abi? So I mentioned to Johnny, (the best friend) that I know this dude who does music and great posters. I called up SR and dude was like 'yes, who is this?' Of course he has my number (you're reading this, so let me say, 'yes, you do!') Anyways, he was slightly cold be he warmed up, I told him why I called and as I expected, he was cool. So, about a day later! I get an email from dude saying we could get together if I felt like it! I mean, if someone else said let's get together, I'd think they meant for coffee or just a general chit chat but SR, he meant let's fuck! I laughed, it was slightly flattering that he'd still be interested but he's a man now, so I guess I shouldn't read too deeply into that. He's a nice dude though, all things considered.

My birthday was interesting, in a completely different way to last year. I did not go 'out' as such. I went to work, as it fell on a Monday and I spent the night with, hmmn, what shall we call this one, let's just say, The Visitor (TV from now on). Now I mentioned earlier that I was caught in a love triangle, abi? Well, it was with TV and a friend. Now, I have made it clear on several occasions, to my lovers and friends, that right now, I just want to fuck, sleep around, get laid, whatever. The only caveat where that is concerned is that I will sleep with only that one person during any period of time, no double dipping for me, thanks. Okay, back to the matter at hand, TV, friend and yours truly, hung out on my birthday, it was cool. I did not get laid like I wanted and planned to because, well, you guessed it! Friend was around! We did everything but the main! It was frustrating as hell! But the next day we just chilled, I surprised myself, I did not get the urge to pick up my things and leave, I wanted to stay. This shocked me, it was the first time in a long, long time that I wanted to be around the morning after. They were here as tourists, TV and friend, so I guess a part of me did not mind being so unguarded, it was crazy though. I actually put my plans to go meet up with an old lover on the shelf because of TV (and friend, because one came with the other!).Maybe it's because TV was completely different to anyone I had been with but this I actually wanted to talk and cook! Imagine! It was cool though, I had fun with the whole thing, Johnny reckons I'm slipping, me? Hmmn, I dunno. As much as I liked them (in very different ways, might I add. I was crazily attracted to one and the other one I thought would make a good hang out buddy), I was very uncomfortable with the whole arrangement. Okay, this is getting to be a mantra from me but I cannot delve into the story much as I would love to, I have not sought permission from TV and friend and I do not want to upset anyone.

I am still in the process of trying to move out. I realise staying at home as long as I have has stunted me in so many ways. London is very expensive though, I am talking a grand for one a decent one bedroom flat with good transport links. I am willing to pay that much. Freedom, to employ the old cliché, is priceless.

Oh, to the friend I reconciled with. If you are familiar with this blog, you'll know I have/had a friend called E.Q. This chic meant the world to me, for real. We fell out last year, December, to be precise. It was very hard for me, more than I thought it could be. I guess I can say that I was heart broken. I called, wrote emails, left voicemails and all the while I wondered at the strange force that made me swallow my pride so completely, albeit four months after the fact. But I did all that anyway because I loved the chic, we were very different but I dug the fact that she could talk to me about anything. Long story short, we met up on a Saturday, I walked through Portobello Market to meet her, my heart pounding, thinking about what I would say to her, how I would fill her in on all the things I had been up to. When I finally saw her.... Nothing! All the nervous excitement dissipated and in its place was a low humming disappointment. We talked and it dawned on me that though we had know each other for years, I cared more about our break up than she did. Also, she had changed, in ways I can't exactly describe or maybe I have, I dunno but.... It finally dawned on me that we can never be again as we once were. It's shame really, I don't really make friends with women, it's just the way it has turned out. I'll still miss the chic but I have satisfied the burn to reconcile, now I am good.

It's been a while, so I had a lot to get off my chest.

I hope everyone's been good.

The picture above is of my birthday present to myself.It speaks for itself I think.

Oh! I am so excited about Rick Ross' new album, it's been a while for me where hip hop is concerned but this one looks good.

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Crossing lines, almost

So, I had an interesting weekend, it could have been better but... I did reach one interesting conclusion about myself though! I am not a great drinker. In my mind, I like to think that I can knock back shots, whilst swigging beers and downing mojitos, this is not true. I got drunk, like stupidly drunk. The kinda drunkenness that separates the body from the mind, I willed my body to do one thing and it completely ignored me! I had to force myself to throw up, just so I could walk.

Back to the essence of the weekend, I made some friends on FB and they're in London for a while, so yours truly took it upon herself to be a kinda tour guide. Might I add that I am a quite boring, I do not do the whole clubbing thing so I was a little nervous about how I was going to show my two friends a good time. I roped in some other friends and we headed out to town. We got to one spot, the music sucked!

Seriously, I am not much of a dancer but I move some and in order for that to happen, I need to at least hear some good shit but that was not to be. The DJ did shout out my friend whose birthday it was and she played ONE good song, this is after I begged her of course. After the time at the bar, we went to a cafe and this is where things sorta went south!

Now, I am afflicted with a perennial big mouth. Sometimes, I indulge myself by saying exactly what I mean to say, how I mean to say it, with little or no thought to how it'll affect people around me. If you've been keeping up with my blog, you'd know that one of the things I detest most is this precise aspect in some people. I basically said all kinds of things that should have earned me a slap (according to my very good friend) but did not. I managed to piss off two of my friends, one has gotten over it, she loves me too much not to (cue serious eye rolling sessions) the other, err, I am not so sure. She says it's 'ba wahala' but I do not know the chick well enough to take her word for it.

Anyway sha, I spent Saturday and Sunday feeling pretty bad, I am talker, hell. I could talk for Lagos Island but I reckon I went a little far. In order for what I am going on about to make perfect sense, I would have to write about some things which I cannot because they are not solely mine to tell. This is the horrible part if writing, where one has to remember to defer to other people's feeling when keeping such a public diary. Oh, another thing I did discover though is that free fucking, as I so crudely want to put it, always has repercussions! Yes, there goes my string free theory. By this I do not mean one person falling in love, if there is a chance of this happening, I am yet to be affected by it, a fact that I am very grateful for. But I mean, the next person I decide to engage with sexually, has to be someone that I would not be around but for sexing, does that make sense?

This blog of mine has turned into a running commentary on my sex life. I want this to be the last post on it for a while, unless I have some mind blowing, heart stopping sex! :-) This one person that I got down with last, is pretty cool, someone I could chill with even if were just hanging out, I am mildly surprised by the force of the physical attraction I felt, to be honest, sex can be pretty perfunctory for me, it's like, you want it, I want it, let's do the damn thing, lol. But there I was, studying crevices and grooves, remembering smiles and 360 type transformations, I was knocked off my stride some, so much so that I woulda pulled myself to the side and asked myself some questions if I could have. I am the kinda lover that enjoys being touched as well as touching, I am very responsive and I enjoy responses, I figured that as a woman, I gotta make sure that I am not a pillow princess, waiting to be touched with hands by her side, that is not a good look! I also enjoy being in control, as a matter of fact, I pride myself on that. So in this instance, that was not the case, I turned into a kitten, unusually submissive and hungry to touched, even thinking about it now makes me cringe... Hmmn, what I gotta figure out though is why! I have not had much time to process it, my mind has been too busy these days but when I do give it proper thought, I will share.

So, I gotta draw a line under my latest adventure, why? You may ask, well, my guard slipped a little, not by much and we are certainly not talking about a romantic kinda deal here but by enough to make me think, errr, enough of this now! That's sorta makes me a coward huh? Yes, I will not deny, I am not one for putting more than my body in the hands of someone I have nothing more than biblical relations with, Lol. Okay it is undeniable, I am a wimp! I think we'll just hang out and watch basketball together or something. I am typing this on my lunch break, such is my boredom. The new job is going well, it'll allow me to move out in a couple of weeks, fingers crossed. I went to Madame Tussauds, this is not something I would have done ordinarily but it was a friend's birthday and I was invited so, off I went. I would like to say now that I do not think it is a worthwhile way to spend one's hard earned money, seeing a bunch of wax celebrities doing nothing, it is just not my cup of tea. Any how, the picture above is Yours Truly and The Greatest, I dig him, yay!

I gotta jet now, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Oh! Has anyone heard some good music or seen a really good film they'd like to recommend? I have not had much time to discover new things these day. Peace!

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Job, like this.

It has been over a month!! May I confess that I suffer from chronic procrastination, I have been meaning to do this for a while....

So, since I wrote last. I got a job, in fact, at this very moment, I have two! I work at a Broker's at the moment, doing my Compliance/KYC thing, I love it there. It's very laid back, jeans and T-shirt kinda place. The pay is good and I am pretty much left to my own devices. Then, I had an interview at HSBC! I did not think I was going to get the job, the lady who conducted the interview was not nice at all! Anyhow, to cut the long story short, they offered me the job, it pays very well and it's a mid term contract. I was really conflicted about taking it. I dig loyalty and I felt really bad for a couple of days. It then dawned on my that I gotta do what's best for me. So yours truly is stacking them chip, you know? I am tryna go home!

That's the job front. On a more interesting note.... I took a hiatus from all forms of sexual activity, even masturbation! It was not as hard as I thought it'd be. Funnily though, I had more opportunities to get laid whilst that was going on, more than I would ordinarily.

My little ONS guy and I do not talk anymore, dude is as stubborn as he is honest. I am slightly disappointed that he is being that way but you know, how does the saying go, 'one cannot have the cake and eat it'. I wanted to keep it sexual, he came around to that and he was unwilling to bend. I admire that but still... What happened.. Well....

After our one (and only encounter) we talked for a while and we arranged another one. My grandmother died, so the last thing on my mind was sex. He called and I told him but he did not believe me, I guess he thought I'd make that up, just to get outta having sex with him, lol. What's the English for 'No thanks again?' Anways, I suggested we meet up in central London, since I still wanted to see him, I suggested we just talk and hang out. He then threw my earlier line in my face 'I have friends babe, we don't need to hang out' I must admit I was rather tickled when he said that... But dude said, there was no way he could come to central London, he just could not be bothered but that I must come over to his house.... Now, let me just state for the record, I could fly to Paris in the same time it takes me to get to his house. The whole episode was quite silly really and it is a shame in some ways, I was beginning to like him. That was the last day we spoke but we are still friends on FB.

Now, I have sorta decided to be a good a girl from now on. I know I can fuck, if that is what I want, but somehow, the novelty has worn off.... From Saccharine Royalty to now, I have done a bunch of things I cannot write about, I took a break to put some things in perspective and now, sex is great, bloody hell it is but it is not the be all... Right. :-)

As part of my support Naija effort, I bought 'The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives' I am yet to read it... But yeah, support your own folks...

That's all, this is all over the place, as is customary now. I try to cover as many things as possible..

The soundtrack to this; 'Princesses Nubiennes' by Les Nubians, I told you all how I feel about this album.

Stay well.