One Night Stands and complications.

How do women approach one night stands, I mean, the question that is really on my mind is, what is the best way to have a one night stand? Is it best to do it with a complete stranger or should one seek out someone one is familiar with? I do not know the best answer but I will write from experience.

So, I had a ons once. It was not your typical ons because, me being me, I had to plan everything down to the last climax, lol. Anyways, he and I made plans, we talked and the big day came around. I made my way over to his place, let me tell you, dude lived really far, it took a me a long time to get to his. On the way there, all kinds of thoughts went through my mind on, would I be attracted to him? Would he be clean? I mean my biggest fear was that we would be sexually incompatible and let me just say, that would not have funny at all! I had this thought in my head of him being really small, I mean we had exchanged pictures but pictures lie, photoshop and all that. I also had this fear that he would be without imagination, seriously, I thought about all kinds of off putting things.

I must say, I was not immediately attracted to him, he is a nice looking guy, not too tall, slim and very clean. I just did not feel a spark straight away, I am hard to please sometimes, lol. To cut the long story short, we did the deed. (May I say he has the nicest equipment I have ever seen, my fear about him being small proved to be foolish! I wish I could show you all a picture, lol! It is perfect, I told him as much)

Now, I had a good time and he is good company. The problem is, we did not just have sex and leave it at that, we have since kept in touch and we send the odd text here and there. The complications that I think could arise are (1) I like him mildly, he is honest and he is very passionate about things he likes. Also he has a this crazy sex drive and he is a freak! (2) I think he might like me. This sounds a little conceited and I know if he ever reads this he'll agree but I get the feeling he does (3). we have talked about things that are outside my carefully constructed boundaries.

All this sounds like I am over thinking things but, I have a lot of time on my hands these days, so... Also, he was my first ons and I have since concluded that I think I can do it without it being a big deal, at least I think so. Before, I found it hard to reconcile my sexual and intellectual halves but now, I am very comfortable with being a thinking being who has no problems with sleeping with whomever takes her fancy (lol, I am not quite an Ashawo yet though.)

Finally, we plan to do it again, he might cook for me, the last time we got some pizza, fucked, smoked, fucked some more, smoked again, I got up, had a shower and I bounced. Actually, that makes me sounds like a pro, which I am not! But, yeah, he is a nice guy and maybe it'll be better if he was a bit of an asshole. Eh?

See, I have found out that I can like one person and sleep with someone else. I am more of a sexual being that I gave myself credit for! I do maintain that I am not crazy about sex though, it creeps up on me once in a while and I have to have it.

I spoke with my ex about this and he thinks I am tryna be like a man, why pray tell is it alright for a man to think with a penis and I can't think with my vagina? I must let it be known that my heart is not attached to my nether region, I have discovered that and I plan to milk it until I fall in love (I am not too optimistic where that is concerned).

I do not know what this sexual awakening is about and I am not trying to say I am the flyest chick out there but I have had opportunities, with men as well as women, but I had been emotionally hamstrung (as a result of expectations I placed on myself) and now, I am just so bloody nonchalant about it, it's as exhilarating as it is scary.

Okay, I am sorry it has been a while, I have been going through some things, I will write about some of them soon.

Start to Finish et al

I am happy! I do not know why but it is a rare day I get home from work and I am not completely drained. So, I had an interesting weekend, but you know there are some stories one cannot tell without speaking on things other people might not want you to speak about? Outta respect for the other party I won't speak on it. That makes me a kinda tease right? I do apologise for that. :-)

How sexy is honesty? I find it such a strong turn on, especially in men. I think a lot of women swear that they want it and then find that they'd rather be with the guy that spins tales about everything. I would rather be with the 'starving artist' type than a guy who flashes wads of cash about, there is something inherently dishonest about ostentatious displays of wealth. I do not mind bus hopping and watching pirate films, just keep it real with me, I can take it. This is by no means me suggesting that only poor or average men can be honest, this is just my experience. I was just thinking about this on Sunday. I like passion, I do not mean rip each other's clothes off kinda passion (though that'll be wonderful) I mean a passion for something or someone. I like listening to people talk about their passions, watching their expressions, I find that rather moving

So, I think I mentioned that I bought some audio books? The crazy thing is how disappointed I am with one of them. 'Half of a yellow sun' by C.N. Adichie is one of my favourite books. I bought the audio thinking I could enjoying it while reviewing some work. To my dismay, the lady doing the reading makes Nigerians sound like deaf Kenyans! What is it about the West and how they think of Africans, I mean I know that different Nigerians have disparate accents depending on where they come from, but she was so far off. I wrote the website a letter, I figured I'd alert them to their gross error, no use in just complaining about it right? I could not listen to the whole thing, the accent just threw me. Things like that are disrespectful as far as I am concerned.

I have had this song on repeat for the past hour, I do that sometimes. It's called 'Love Nwantinti' by H-Man. (he happens to be one of my favourite Naija artists. 'Ndoli Ndoli pt.2 and 'Uwadiwe' are great songs that you should all check out)



I liked how H-Man looked like a 'nerd in love' he is rather adorable especially that little speech impediment he has.

I am off to watch 'Big Love' now.

L.

Tongue Kissing, Yay or Nay? (S.R. contd)

Okay, it turns out SR is stubborn. I usually like stubbon, it make me more determined to get my own way but his is a different case. He is the biggest tease in the entire universe. Of course he'll disagree but that does not change the fact! After driving me nuts about this whole 'no libido' thing, he came around, at least I think he did, I am not entirely sure. Let me give you all a sample of you textual conversation.

L: I want you to understand we won't fuck tomorrow but maybe Saturday?

SR: Saturday seems nice, if my libido returns before then that is

L: SR, forget you abeg. I don't like being toyed with. This whole libido thing is boring now, I am so bored of it.

SR: But it's not on purpose now. L, 'tell you what, you just show up that day, if we don't fuck good, if we do, even better.

I did not get back to him for a while because I was busy, then he writes...

SR: So, we doing this or what?

L: SR, you are toying with me and it is boring now. If I come to your place, it'll be for one thing only. I have friends babe, we don't need to hang out. If you are not down for that then let's draw a line under it, no harm, no foul.

SR: So maybe it's time you called me then? Lets talk this through

L: No, SR, I will not be blackmailed into calling you! I am looking for a guy that can do it ofuma ofuma. I thought we could do that but it seems you wanna play with me and I am too horny for mind games.

SR: Lmao. Nah babes, just call. Please?

L: No, I won't. When you make up your mind, let me know.

SR: Na wa o

L: Hmmn, I feel like I have pressurised you unduly. Give your libido some time to recover and if it ever does, we can resume our plans.

SR: It's the way you're going about it though. I wanna fuck, yes but I can gbadun your.... Fuck it! You know what? I'm fucking. Lemme know when. Don't wanna seem like I am catching feelings.

So, it seemed we back to the same page, then today? Lol!

(The above is all verbatim, no editing has been done)



Why is it the fact that I do not like tongue kissing bothers you? Is tongue kissing a necessary part of sex? If you like using your tongue so much, trust me, I can find certain spots on my body that'll appreciate it.

The thought of a tongue in mouth makes me sick, literally. I hate it, I love kissing though, I love being kissed by someone who will do it how I like it done. I am trying to give you clues so we both have a good time.

It appears this is a non negotiable point for you, as it is for me. So I guess that is it then. To think I picked out lingerie, whatta waste.

Oh! Nice Anon, you made a comment that I might like him, he read it and told me the same thing like 'oh I think you're falling for me' It is your fault o!

So I guess this chapter is closed.

Randoms and Saccharine Royalty contd..

I am very happy right now, certain are starting to fall in to place. So, here I am here cheesing like I won something. Last night, I could not sleep, long Friday, so I decided to record an audio blog. I did not have the time to re record it, so I sound rather halting, I apologise. Also, I was rather tired. I am off to watch 'Avatar' with my brother.

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Your Saccharine Highness (contd..)

You called! Why did you do that? You have to know that I have rules. Rules you cannot break. I could have ignored your call but that would have been juvenile. Did you find out what 'Subjective' means? I like smart guys, even if only for one night. Do not call me again, let's keep it textual.

Until then, keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean.

L.

Inspirement, et al.

I decided to give into my muse. I am so damned lazy about blogging, but here I am on a Saturday night, at home because it so damned cold. I have all kinds of thoughts swimming in my head but I shan't bore you all and myself. I did, as a result of my boredom, buy some cool things today. Firstly, I got this: ‘A Christmas Carol' I am a sucker for French films, this one was complicated and beautiful. I would recommend it

Then I bought these! They are the best headphones under £100 that I have ever owned and I have about six pairs at home. I would recommend these to anyone who is looking for a good cheap pair of 'phones. They set me back just under £25. Worth the dough and a lot more, for real. Koss PortaPro headphones, would most definitely recommend!

After those purchases, I got a satchel. I had been looking for one for the longest, my sister, who is the fashion queen in my house, suggested Urban Outfitters and I found this little gem, it's very me, I dunno how so but once I saw it, I was like 'Yes!'.

Next, I got some books, I buy a book every week. This week I bought two audio books and one regular book. I try to show love to my Naija artists, so, I bought, in audio, 'Things Fall Apart' (which I have read a thousand times but hearing the book in audio was a wonderful experience), 'Half Of A Yellow Sun' by Chimamanda Adichie (I cannot tell you how much I love this woman, words fail me. Have I even mentioned that what I find most attractive about a person is intelligence? Not in the conventional 2+2 sense either, I like someone that can provoke thought, someone that can make me re-assess things I was sure about. That makes me wet...) and 'Everything Good Will Come' by Sefi Atta.

The blog tittle is inspired by the CultureCynic. I dig her blog majorly*, I am very far from fashionable but I really dig how she does her thing. Who knows, maybe yours truly will put up some pics. Er, okay, no! I have a very eclectic style, (at the risk of sounding rather clichéd) I am a girly tomboy, (I do not know how to explain that, you just have to meet me to figure it out.) so, I guess that is reflected in the way I dress. I oughta make more of an effort, it'll make my mother very happy, actually, I think she just wants me to wear make-up. I have nothing against it, it's just not me.

I am inspired right now because I am snowed in but I have found a film to watch! I am out, stay blessed all.

The soundtrack to this latest entry is 'Black Summer's Night' by Maxwell

* Plus, she has a very alluring mouth.

Your Saccharine Highness.

Hello all.

It has been a while, the hiatus was necessary as I had some things to take care of. I hope all is well with everyone. I have three things to get off my chest today. (1) The Saccharine Royal (2) Break-ups and (3) Nigeria. In that order exactly. I have so busy with work, goodness, Christmas was boring, the day after I went to my boy Johnny's place, it was his birthday, myself and Mac got silly drunk, see, I do not do hard liquor but I went too far and my head paid for it the next day. I met Johnny's girl friend and I really like her. May I just say how much of a relief it is to actually like my friend's GF? She is intelligent, friendly and good for him, she also strikes me as someone who would not put up with his bullshit and that is all right with me. .. Okay topic one.

Saccharine Royalty

This is about a certain person in the blogosphere, will please accept my apology. My Blackberry developed a fault and the number you have has been on voicemail and since we're not trying to get all personal, I decided not to email you. I have sent the phone in for repairs, in the mean time keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean, you may just be richly rewarded for it... I ran into an ex of mine, I told him what I had planned with you, he dared me to do it, if I do and I tell my ex, would that make a some kinda weirdo? Would you feel used?

Break-ups

I am currently heart broken! My Co-D is not talking to me. I never thought I could miss someone that I am not romantically involved with as much as I miss her. I am of little doubt that we'll talk again but that fact is immaterial right now, someone please knock some sense in to this girl's head. I know she loves me, I know she misses me, but I also know that she won't call me! This is one of the rare situations where I have to put my foot down and not call, I will readily admit that I am stubborn, but this situation is not about that, it is about respect and trust. I am tired of having to prove that I care, it is very taxing on my system.

Nigeria

I love this country, yes, I had to move abroad in order to realise that but I do love this country. I am really scared for it right now, it seems we are hurtling towards some major crises. I do not want the country to break up nor do I want any kind of political unrest but I guess the latter might be necessary, the former gives me nightmares that keep me awake for hours on end. I need to put my money where my mouth is and move home, we need to start that political action group, ASAP!