Hey Ya!




This credit crunch thing has really done a sista in! So, I am here thinking about a line from one of the most ubiqutous songs of the the noughties, 'if nothing lasts forever, what makes me love the exception?'.... This is not a question that I have ever tried to answer to but I think the question can be broken down, there are certain types of love that will and can last forever, I do not see how anyone/thing can rid me of the fierce love I have for my family, I guess that is love we all take or granted because it is assumed and we rarely have to work at it. I take it for granted that my siblings and my parents love me, I do not work at cultivating that love, it does not require me to put my best foot forward, it is a love that is complete. I feel it from time to time when my sisters go out their way for me, then my heart skips several beats and I remember that I am loved. That love I know, will be for the duration of our forevers, when it is we meet our maker, that love will be as strong as it is now.

Now back to the song, I am going to assume that dude was talking about romantic love, the kinda love that you feel in your fingers and toes ( yes, at the risk of sounding cliched, my left hand does get momentarily paralyzed when I see certain displays of romantic love, so, sue me!) I do not know if that love lasts forever, I have never been 'in-love', I have been in strong 'like' but never a head-over-heels kinda deal, nope! What I have seen and heard allows me to believe that love is some shape shifting emotion that does not remain the same for long. The initial rush of discovering something so precious,
the I want you by my side all the time or the we can't wait till the bedroom rush wears off. What is one left with? Two people who continue to grow, change ( for better or worse) so it is only right that the love does the same. I have seen people who could finish each others' sentences turn around and loathe each other and that always leaves me with questions, did this person change into some sorta ogre or did the 'love' run it course?

I am a romantic cycnic (the biggest oxymoron one can imagine), aside from the involuntary reaction my left hand suffers from, I have little time for all the mush, you know, flowers, chocolates and the like. So I feel that I am going to err on the side of those who believe that love is a transient emotion, I think one should enjoy it while it lasts and once it is finished, that is that.

When I express this view, my mother is shocked
'you are playing with loneliness' but that is a worry that does not cross my mind right now. I have seen many people suffer under the yoke of fear of being alone and like my friend says 'that one will not be my own portion o'. My plan in life is to know as many people as possible, travel different continents, I intend to open my mind and heart to the complexities of human emotions and maybe then my opinion on the matter will change but we'll see.

What do you all think?

Nostalgia





I used to be a little African girl,
happy, confused and without a sweet tooth
Now, I am a grown Londoner, African still
but I was yanked into womanhood
by tobacco smoke
men who wanted to be freaked
and women who thought they were unique
Red light districts that prompted
'whys' and 'maybe(s)'
I grew to the sound of cries
ephemeral joy, a fodness for mechanical toys
and curiosity about non tow headed boys
Sprouted to drums of Fela

I grew to soon.

Friday Night.


I am not a fussy chick, never have been, so when he asked me what I wanted to do last weekend, I said surprise me. I left it at that. Come Friday night, a sista was getting ready, Maxwell in the background, tried and discarded outfits on my bed, I feel pretty good, after a stressful day at work, I was looking forward to mingling with friends, anyway, my phone rings;

L- hey, you ready yet?
H - err, I can't really decide where I wanna take you, bar hang or catch a film
L - I am not fussed, I just wanna get outta this place tonight
H - okay, I'll call you back....

I hate it when he does this, maybe I am being unfair expecting so much out of him, I mean we are not together but I do love his company.... We ended up at Grafton House a cool spot in SW London, I had a good time but I there was something missing............

Ladies (and Gentlemen) suggest what the missing 'thing' could be.

L.



photo courtesy of: http://abdullahpope.blogspot.com/