Start to Finish et al

I am happy! I do not know why but it is a rare day I get home from work and I am not completely drained. So, I had an interesting weekend, but you know there are some stories one cannot tell without speaking on things other people might not want you to speak about? Outta respect for the other party I won't speak on it. That makes me a kinda tease right? I do apologise for that. :-)

How sexy is honesty? I find it such a strong turn on, especially in men. I think a lot of women swear that they want it and then find that they'd rather be with the guy that spins tales about everything. I would rather be with the 'starving artist' type than a guy who flashes wads of cash about, there is something inherently dishonest about ostentatious displays of wealth. I do not mind bus hopping and watching pirate films, just keep it real with me, I can take it. This is by no means me suggesting that only poor or average men can be honest, this is just my experience. I was just thinking about this on Sunday. I like passion, I do not mean rip each other's clothes off kinda passion (though that'll be wonderful) I mean a passion for something or someone. I like listening to people talk about their passions, watching their expressions, I find that rather moving

So, I think I mentioned that I bought some audio books? The crazy thing is how disappointed I am with one of them. 'Half of a yellow sun' by C.N. Adichie is one of my favourite books. I bought the audio thinking I could enjoying it while reviewing some work. To my dismay, the lady doing the reading makes Nigerians sound like deaf Kenyans! What is it about the West and how they think of Africans, I mean I know that different Nigerians have disparate accents depending on where they come from, but she was so far off. I wrote the website a letter, I figured I'd alert them to their gross error, no use in just complaining about it right? I could not listen to the whole thing, the accent just threw me. Things like that are disrespectful as far as I am concerned.

I have had this song on repeat for the past hour, I do that sometimes. It's called 'Love Nwantinti' by H-Man. (he happens to be one of my favourite Naija artists. 'Ndoli Ndoli pt.2 and 'Uwadiwe' are great songs that you should all check out)



I liked how H-Man looked like a 'nerd in love' he is rather adorable especially that little speech impediment he has.

I am off to watch 'Big Love' now.

L.

Tongue Kissing, Yay or Nay? (S.R. contd)

Okay, it turns out SR is stubborn. I usually like stubbon, it make me more determined to get my own way but his is a different case. He is the biggest tease in the entire universe. Of course he'll disagree but that does not change the fact! After driving me nuts about this whole 'no libido' thing, he came around, at least I think he did, I am not entirely sure. Let me give you all a sample of you textual conversation.

L: I want you to understand we won't fuck tomorrow but maybe Saturday?

SR: Saturday seems nice, if my libido returns before then that is

L: SR, forget you abeg. I don't like being toyed with. This whole libido thing is boring now, I am so bored of it.

SR: But it's not on purpose now. L, 'tell you what, you just show up that day, if we don't fuck good, if we do, even better.

I did not get back to him for a while because I was busy, then he writes...

SR: So, we doing this or what?

L: SR, you are toying with me and it is boring now. If I come to your place, it'll be for one thing only. I have friends babe, we don't need to hang out. If you are not down for that then let's draw a line under it, no harm, no foul.

SR: So maybe it's time you called me then? Lets talk this through

L: No, SR, I will not be blackmailed into calling you! I am looking for a guy that can do it ofuma ofuma. I thought we could do that but it seems you wanna play with me and I am too horny for mind games.

SR: Lmao. Nah babes, just call. Please?

L: No, I won't. When you make up your mind, let me know.

SR: Na wa o

L: Hmmn, I feel like I have pressurised you unduly. Give your libido some time to recover and if it ever does, we can resume our plans.

SR: It's the way you're going about it though. I wanna fuck, yes but I can gbadun your.... Fuck it! You know what? I'm fucking. Lemme know when. Don't wanna seem like I am catching feelings.

So, it seemed we back to the same page, then today? Lol!

(The above is all verbatim, no editing has been done)



Why is it the fact that I do not like tongue kissing bothers you? Is tongue kissing a necessary part of sex? If you like using your tongue so much, trust me, I can find certain spots on my body that'll appreciate it.

The thought of a tongue in mouth makes me sick, literally. I hate it, I love kissing though, I love being kissed by someone who will do it how I like it done. I am trying to give you clues so we both have a good time.

It appears this is a non negotiable point for you, as it is for me. So I guess that is it then. To think I picked out lingerie, whatta waste.

Oh! Nice Anon, you made a comment that I might like him, he read it and told me the same thing like 'oh I think you're falling for me' It is your fault o!

So I guess this chapter is closed.

Randoms and Saccharine Royalty contd..

I am very happy right now, certain are starting to fall in to place. So, here I am here cheesing like I won something. Last night, I could not sleep, long Friday, so I decided to record an audio blog. I did not have the time to re record it, so I sound rather halting, I apologise. Also, I was rather tired. I am off to watch 'Avatar' with my brother.

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Your Saccharine Highness (contd..)

You called! Why did you do that? You have to know that I have rules. Rules you cannot break. I could have ignored your call but that would have been juvenile. Did you find out what 'Subjective' means? I like smart guys, even if only for one night. Do not call me again, let's keep it textual.

Until then, keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean.

L.

Inspirement, et al.

I decided to give into my muse. I am so damned lazy about blogging, but here I am on a Saturday night, at home because it so damned cold. I have all kinds of thoughts swimming in my head but I shan't bore you all and myself. I did, as a result of my boredom, buy some cool things today. Firstly, I got this: ‘A Christmas Carol' I am a sucker for French films, this one was complicated and beautiful. I would recommend it

Then I bought these! They are the best headphones under £100 that I have ever owned and I have about six pairs at home. I would recommend these to anyone who is looking for a good cheap pair of 'phones. They set me back just under £25. Worth the dough and a lot more, for real. Koss PortaPro headphones, would most definitely recommend!

After those purchases, I got a satchel. I had been looking for one for the longest, my sister, who is the fashion queen in my house, suggested Urban Outfitters and I found this little gem, it's very me, I dunno how so but once I saw it, I was like 'Yes!'.

Next, I got some books, I buy a book every week. This week I bought two audio books and one regular book. I try to show love to my Naija artists, so, I bought, in audio, 'Things Fall Apart' (which I have read a thousand times but hearing the book in audio was a wonderful experience), 'Half Of A Yellow Sun' by Chimamanda Adichie (I cannot tell you how much I love this woman, words fail me. Have I even mentioned that what I find most attractive about a person is intelligence? Not in the conventional 2+2 sense either, I like someone that can provoke thought, someone that can make me re-assess things I was sure about. That makes me wet...) and 'Everything Good Will Come' by Sefi Atta.

The blog tittle is inspired by the CultureCynic. I dig her blog majorly*, I am very far from fashionable but I really dig how she does her thing. Who knows, maybe yours truly will put up some pics. Er, okay, no! I have a very eclectic style, (at the risk of sounding rather clichéd) I am a girly tomboy, (I do not know how to explain that, you just have to meet me to figure it out.) so, I guess that is reflected in the way I dress. I oughta make more of an effort, it'll make my mother very happy, actually, I think she just wants me to wear make-up. I have nothing against it, it's just not me.

I am inspired right now because I am snowed in but I have found a film to watch! I am out, stay blessed all.

The soundtrack to this latest entry is 'Black Summer's Night' by Maxwell

* Plus, she has a very alluring mouth.

Your Saccharine Highness.

Hello all.

It has been a while, the hiatus was necessary as I had some things to take care of. I hope all is well with everyone. I have three things to get off my chest today. (1) The Saccharine Royal (2) Break-ups and (3) Nigeria. In that order exactly. I have so busy with work, goodness, Christmas was boring, the day after I went to my boy Johnny's place, it was his birthday, myself and Mac got silly drunk, see, I do not do hard liquor but I went too far and my head paid for it the next day. I met Johnny's girl friend and I really like her. May I just say how much of a relief it is to actually like my friend's GF? She is intelligent, friendly and good for him, she also strikes me as someone who would not put up with his bullshit and that is all right with me. .. Okay topic one.

Saccharine Royalty

This is about a certain person in the blogosphere, will please accept my apology. My Blackberry developed a fault and the number you have has been on voicemail and since we're not trying to get all personal, I decided not to email you. I have sent the phone in for repairs, in the mean time keep your nails short and your jogging bottoms clean, you may just be richly rewarded for it... I ran into an ex of mine, I told him what I had planned with you, he dared me to do it, if I do and I tell my ex, would that make a some kinda weirdo? Would you feel used?

Break-ups

I am currently heart broken! My Co-D is not talking to me. I never thought I could miss someone that I am not romantically involved with as much as I miss her. I am of little doubt that we'll talk again but that fact is immaterial right now, someone please knock some sense in to this girl's head. I know she loves me, I know she misses me, but I also know that she won't call me! This is one of the rare situations where I have to put my foot down and not call, I will readily admit that I am stubborn, but this situation is not about that, it is about respect and trust. I am tired of having to prove that I care, it is very taxing on my system.

Nigeria

I love this country, yes, I had to move abroad in order to realise that but I do love this country. I am really scared for it right now, it seems we are hurtling towards some major crises. I do not want the country to break up nor do I want any kind of political unrest but I guess the latter might be necessary, the former gives me nightmares that keep me awake for hours on end. I need to put my money where my mouth is and move home, we need to start that political action group, ASAP!

De-laid!

So, I am sorry that I have not posted in while, my new (old) job is taking a lot out of me. Now, about my title, this is the long and short of it, I need to get laid. There, I said it! The need announced itself to me at work when I started looking at my colleague in a funky manner. This dude is just your average Joe, nothing particularly sexy about him but such is my need. It has been a long time, longer than I want to admit, lol. I always imagine that I will find someone attractive and just hop into bed but as much as I want that to be the case, it is just not me. I have found myself in situations where I can do a whole lot sans getting naked with someone I have no emotional connection with. By this I do not mean I have to be in love, no. I just have to know more than the person's name, that's all.

So, ladies and gentlemen, how do I solve a problem like this? I do not not want a relationship right now, I do not have much to offer someone, I am tryna get myself together, but I do want to have wild passionate sex. I want to talk first, watch a football game after, pick up my hand bag and head out, no strings attached, no feelings caught.

I know some people will read this roll and their eyes on some 'this girl is an ashewo*' tip, lol. Lemme just make it clear now, I do not care, this blog is all about me being honest about where I'm at and what I'm feeling, so please do not quote the bible to me, abeg! I really do believe that one's libido is like a car, it has to be serviced, tested and satiated.

I do not have a particularly crazy sex drive, as a matter of fact, I can go months without giving a damn but when I get into my zone, hmmn, let's just say, Viagra has nothing on me.

Anyways, I do not want to beat this to death, I believe you all catch my gist, so, if you have any ideas, drop me a line.

I am listening to 'Nwata' by Flavour, it is the perfect soundtrack to accompany my rather amorous mood.

* = Prostitute, Ho'. Whore, Puta, etcetera